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Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. xwJ9
In this era of technology and globalization, smartphones have become an indispensable part of life. A number of people deem that face-to-face conversation is being disappeared after overuse of the smartphone. Although it offers myriad benefits to us, this essay will argue why social bondings are being affected because o smartphones. To begin with, there is no doubt that for some people, the latest phones are not only used for just calling or texting the message, but it is one of the fastest ways to connect with people. In other words, there are many social applications available on phones where one can easily make friends and talk with them. For example, Facebook and Instagram are the most popular applications which fulfill this purpose. What is more, people can play various games on the smartphone as it is the best way to spend time for many youngsters nowadays. Thus, this makes it clear that today's phone is not the only phone, but it has become very smart. However, there are a number of reasons why people think that smartphones play a significant role in disappearing face talks. Firstly, video calls are being used to a visual conversation as people has become more workaholic and it is a less time-consuming way to connect with others. Secondly, the cheap rate of mobile data is also a possible reason for these changes. For example, mobile users can use the internet for just 600 Indian rupees for 3 months which is very cheap compared to the past. From this, it becomes quite evident that social interaction is vastly affected by smartphones. In conclusion, despite many benefits that smartphone give like easy connectivity and entertainment, I believe that it will destroy social interaction and that day is not so far when people will only talk on a smartphone.
In this era of technology and globalization, smartphones have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an indispensable part of life. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deem that face-to-face conversation is
being disappeared
after overuse of the smartphone. Although it offers myriad benefits to us, this essay will argue why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
o smartphones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
calling or texting the message,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is one of the fastest ways to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
applications available on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
where one can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and talk with them.
For example
, Facebook and Instagram are the most popular applications which fulfill this purpose.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can play various games on the smartphone as it is the best way to spend time for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters nowadays.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart.

However
, there are a number of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that smartphones play a significant role in disappearing face talks.
Firstly
, video calls are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to a visual conversation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more workaholic and it is a less time-consuming way to connect with others.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rate of mobile data is
also
a possible reason for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
For example
, mobile users can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
600 Indian rupees for 3 months which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
compared to the past. From this, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
quite evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction is
vastly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by smartphones.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits that smartphone give like easy connectivity and entertainment, I believe that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction and that day is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talk on a smartphone.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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