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Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills instead of academic education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills instead of academic education. with the above statement? 9wgAn
It is sometimes argued that it is imperative for children to learn skills practically rather than studying academic programs. To some extent, I agree that children should gain more practical skills, but I also believe that academic education is necessary. On the one hand, the opinion to let children absorb more experiences by studying practical skills is attractive for several reasons. The first reason is children are now studying too much in recent years. After learning the school’s curriculum, students have to attend some extra classes for compulsory subjects before coming home, which can make them tired and reduce their efficiency. Additionally, instead of studying numerous things mentioned above, children can go out to attend some curricular activities such as camping, cycling, teambuilding, which will give them more experiences and they can learn tons of practical and soft skills. On the other hand, there are still some reasons why I believe academic studies are still the key factors for the pupil’s future. Subjects children learned from school can help them to solve some actual problems in daily life as a result in absorbing more soft skills. Evidence for this is provided by learning Science, students can have knowledge about the creatures and they can abuse them to do their practical project. Moreover, learning academic education enhances children's concentration due to its difficulties and pupils need to focus on it, otherwise they will not understand what is said in the course. If we look at both sides of the argument, practical skills and academic education both play a pivotal role in students’ daily life. To my way of thinking, children not only learn skills practically but also focus on the school’s curriculum because they will help the others in student’s daily life.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that it is imperative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
practically
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
programs. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
education is necessary.

On the one hand, the opinion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
absorb more experiences by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is attractive for several reasons. The
first
reason is
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children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
too much in recent years. After learning the school’s curriculum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra classes for compulsory subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming home, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them tired and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their efficiency.
Additionally
,
instead
of
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studying
numerous things mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can go out to attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
curricular activities such as camping, cycling,
Possible spelling mistake found.
teambuilding
, which will give them more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experiences and
they can learn tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
and soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies are
still
the key factors for the pupil’s future. Subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learned from school can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actual problems in daily life
as a result
in absorbing more soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Evidence for this
is provided
by learning Science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have knowledge about the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creatures and
they can abuse them to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
project.
Moreover
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
education enhances children's concentration due to its difficulties and pupils need to focus on it,
otherwise
they will not understand what
is said
in the course.

If we look at both sides of the argument,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
education both play a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
daily life. To my way of thinking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
practically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
focus on the school’s curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the others in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
daily life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills instead of academic education. with the above statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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