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Some people believe that responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnational organization, rather than by each individual country. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people believe that responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnational organization, rather than by each individual country. v. 2
It is argued that environmental protection is considered to be responsible for the cross-border organization, rather than by each nation. Personally, I completely disagree with this statement because I believe that the government and individual should have environmentally responsible manners. There are many reasons to explain why the government plays a crucial role in improving environmental degradation. Firstly, the authority should allocate financial resources for alternative energy systems. This is because of increasing greenhouse gas emission released from fossil fuel into the atmosphere; it leads to adverse effects on air pollution. One of the typical consequences of this problem results in many respiratory diseases such as lung cancer. For instance, HCM is being covered with thick smog that reduces visibility as well as causes asthma for citizens. Secondly, it is necessary for the authority to construct the waste treatment technology. Many companies have released their industrial waste into the river and ocean, which affects directly to the living of inhabitants nearby. If the government impose heavy punishments to these company and build the drainage systems, water pollution may be controlled. There are, however, many ways for individuals are able to protect our environment. Firstly, people also can use environmentally friendly means of transportation such as electric cars, bus, and therefore contribute to the reduction of exhaust fumes from private cars into the air. In addition to this, each one needs to raise awareness of environmental pollution caused by human activities, thus spreading messages to everyone over the world. For example, many green campaigns were held annually, such as World Clock, we can participate in these programs to clean the river and gather littler, this helps us prevent from problems as climate changes, soil degradation. In conclusion, for many reasons I have mentioned above, I still hold my initial view that both national people and authorities should take responsibility for the environment.
It
is argued
that environmental protection
is considered
to be responsible for the cross-border organization,
rather
than by each nation.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this statement
because
I believe that the
government
and individual should have
environmentally
responsible manners.

There are
many
reasons to
explain
why the
government
plays a crucial role in improving environmental degradation.
Firstly
, the authority should allocate financial resources for alternative energy systems. This is
because
of increasing greenhouse gas emission released from fossil fuel into the atmosphere; it leads to adverse effects on air pollution. One of the typical consequences of this problem results in
many
respiratory diseases such as lung cancer.
For instance
,
HCM
is
being covered
with thick smog that
reduces
visibility
as well
as causes asthma for citizens.
Secondly
, it is necessary for the authority to construct the waste treatment technology.
Many
companies
have released their industrial waste into the river and ocean, which affects
directly
to the living of inhabitants nearby. If the
government
impose heavy punishments to these
company
and build the drainage systems, water pollution may
be controlled
.

There are,
however
,
many
ways for individuals are able to protect our environment.
Firstly
,
people
also
can
use
environmentally
friendly means of transportation such as electric cars, bus, and
therefore
contribute to the reduction of exhaust fumes from private cars into the air.
In addition
to this, each one needs to raise awareness of environmental pollution caused by human activities,
thus
spreading messages to everyone over the world.
For example
,
many
green campaigns
were held
annually
, such as World Clock, we can participate in these programs to clean the river and gather littler, this
helps
us
prevent
from problems as climate
changes
, soil degradation.

In conclusion
, for
many
reasons I have mentioned above, I
still
hold my initial view that both national
people
and authorities should take responsibility for the environment.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnational organization, rather than by each individual country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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