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SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT READING STORIES FROM A BOOK IS BETTER THAN WATCHING TV OR PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES FOR CHILDREN. TO WHAT EXTENT, DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT READING STORIES FROM A BOOK IS BETTER THAN WATCHING TV OR PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES FOR CHILDREN. BM5Bp
The question of how to educate children is always a topic of interest. Many people claim that reading books is more beneficial for children than watching television or playing computer games. From my perspective, I disagree with this opinion because entertaining via using technology such as computers or TV is better in some aspects. On the one hand, it is undeniable that reading books is an essential means of education. First of all, children who have reading habits may develop their imagination better. The majority of books are words, with fewer pictures and sounds than TV or computer so children need to create the tale world. To clarify, Harry Potter, which is a fantasy genre, requires the imagination of readers because of its unreal world. Consequently, reading habits are an essential method to improve their imagination On the other hand, using technology such as computers or television is better in some aspects. One of these is the entertaining value, which helps children relax after school time. Another advantage of playing video games or watching television is that children can learn how to communicate and are good at pronunciation. Watching Disney channels is a clear example of this situation, which can educate children via sounds and lively scenes so it may be more interesting than reading a book. In conclusion, I contend that none of these methods are better than one. Combining two methods is a better way for children. problems.
The question of how to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is always a topic of interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than watching television or playing computer games. From my perspective, I disagree with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
entertaining via using technology such as computers or TV is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books is an essential means of education.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habits may develop their imagination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. The majority of books are words, with fewer pictures and sounds than TV or computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to create the tale world. To clarify, Harry Potter, which is a fantasy genre, requires the imagination of readers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its unreal world.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habits are an essential method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination

On the other hand
, using technology such as computers or television is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects. One of these is the entertaining value, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relax after school time. Another advantage of playing video games or watching television is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn how to communicate and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at pronunciation. Watching Disney channels is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of this situation, which can educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
via sounds and lively scenes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may be more interesting than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a book.

In conclusion
, I contend that none of these methods are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than one. Combining two methods is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way for children.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
problems
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT READING STORIES FROM A BOOK IS BETTER THAN WATCHING TV OR PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES FOR CHILDREN.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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