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A group of people believe that the things kids live through before schools influence their lives most, while the others think that their experiences as a teenager, mostly at school have more influence. In my opinion, school experiences have more effect on our lives, as we are simply too young to understand things at preschool ages in addition to new things we learn at schools.

A group of people believe that the things kids live through before schools influence their lives most, while the others think that their experiences as a teenager, mostly at school have more influence. In my opinion, school experiences have more effect on our lives, as we are simply too young to understand things at preschool ages in addition to new things we learn at schools. eE05V
A group of people believe that the things kids live through before schools influence their lives most, while the others think that their experiences as a teenager, mostly at school have more influence. In my opinion, school experiences have more effect on our lives, as we are simply too young to understand things at preschool ages in addition to new things we learn at schools. On one hand, some people thinks about time before as a most influential period. The primary reason behind this is that a child's brain is like an empty notebook and everything he/she experiences is directly written on it. Even though they live through many things at schools, the first impressions about different things are always there. As a result, even if we are old, we see most things from that child's eyes. On the other hand, school times are thought to be more influential than previous years and I agree with this. Schools are the first place for most people where they do not have their parents around and have to deal with problems by themselves. Additionally, people make their first friends at schools, as well as learning to be a part of the society. Things we are taught, skills we mastered at schools are used by most of us throughout our lifetime and for this reason I believe that our teenager years at school have more influence than preschool years. To conclude, while people carry their early experiences about school until they die, the things that influence them most are lived at the schools.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the things kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
most, while the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
,
mostly
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
have more effect on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, as we are
simply
too young to understand things at preschool ages
in addition
to new things we learn at schools.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
about time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
as a most influential period. The primary reason behind this is that a child's brain is like an empty notebook and everything he/she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
is
directly
written on it.
Even though
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, the
first
impressions about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things are always there.
As a result
, even if we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
most things from that child's eyes.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
times are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be more influential than previous years and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are the
first
place for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
where they do not have their parents around and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with problems by themselves.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
first
friends at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
as well
as learning to be a part of the society. Things we
are taught
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
we mastered at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by most of us throughout our lifetime and
for this reason
I believe that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
years at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
than preschool years.

To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
carry their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
, the things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
them most are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
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IELTS essay A group of people believe that the things kids live through before schools influence their lives most, while the others think that their experiences as a teenager, mostly at school have more influence. In my opinion, school experiences have more effect on our lives, as we are simply too young to understand things at preschool ages in addition to new things we learn at schools.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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