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Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others believe there are other factors. v.1

Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others believe there are other factors. v. 1
Nowadays, there is a change in way of storing knowledge when compared to the past. Earlier, people used notebooks for storing knowledge. However, it is replaced by internet in the present. This essay will depict how advantages of using internet outweigh the books. Let us look through the past, Books were used as a storage material for knowledge. The one fundamental advantage of using notebooks is that it gives less strain to eyes while reading. When the information is written in the book, it can be read frequently for longer duration without stressing our eyes. For instance, the characters in the book can be read properly under good light conditions. Thus, keeping this in mind, reading in a book can be considered as an advantage. On the other hand, the internet, which has got much knowledge in it. The information stored in the internet can be accessed anywhere. In other words, the accessibility of the information is easier, as it will be stored on the server and can be viewed by us with the help of computer or mobile phones. To illustrate this, assume that an employee has gone out of station for vacation, meanwhile, if his managers ask for any personal document, in this case the employee can just login to his account and share the file with his manger without any overhead. Also, the information can be modified whenever required. Which means, the data need to be changed over the period of time, which is made easier with the help of modifiability option on the internet. For example, if there are any corrections to be made in the information stored, this can be implemented in short time. To conclude, the benefits of the internet far outweigh the disadvantages of books, due to accessibility and modifiability, the internet is known as the best way of storing data.
Nowadays, there is a
change
in way of storing
knowledge
when compared to the past. Earlier,
people
used
notebooks for storing
knowledge
.
However
, it
is replaced
by internet in the present. This essay will depict how advantages of using internet outweigh the books.

Let
us look through the past,
Books
were
used
as a storage material for
knowledge
. The one fundamental advantage of using notebooks is that it gives less strain to eyes while reading. When the
information
is written
in the
book
, it can
be read
frequently
for longer duration without stressing our eyes.
For instance
, the characters in the
book
can
be read
properly
under
good
light conditions.
Thus
, keeping this in mind, reading in a
book
can
be considered
as an advantage.

On the other hand
, the internet, which has
got
much
knowledge
in it. The
information
stored
in the internet
can
be accessed
anywhere.
In other words
, the accessibility of the
information
is easier, as it will
be stored
on the server and can
be viewed
by us with the
help
of computer or mobile phones. To illustrate this, assume that an employee has gone out of station for vacation, meanwhile, if his managers
ask for
any personal document,
in this case
the employee can
just
login
to his account and share the file with his manger without any overhead.
Also
, the
information
can
be modified
whenever required. Which means, the data need to be
changed
over the period of time, which
is made
easier with the
help
of modifiability option on the internet.
For example
, if there are any corrections to
be made
in the
information
stored, this can
be implemented
in short time.

To conclude
, the benefits of the internet far outweigh the disadvantages of
books
, due to accessibility and modifiability, the internet
is known
as the best way of storing data.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others believe there are other factors. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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