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Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. mKXq
It is true that education is universal right for everyone and government must ensure that all people get access to proper education. However, among all the citizen of a state, some people may not have financial fitness to study in university though many of them may not. In my opinion, government should make university education for the people who have financial issues. Government has to manage expenditure of all fields of a country. Surely, if government waives university tuition fee for all people then it would be difficult for the authority to cover other fields such as transport cost, health care facility and disaster preparedness. Firstly, government has limited resource while there is endless demand. Secondly, there are many people who do not require government financial assistance. Finally, government can save its budget if it provides scholarship to those who actually need it and distribute the rest of resource in other area. In contrast, right to education is one of the basic needs of human. So, government must ensure free university education for all. Firstly, many people are not able to continue their education after high school graduation due to economic hardship. Secondly, by achieving a university degree an individual can acquire more knowledge as a result, it will help him to put his knowledge in his working area. Finally, he can grow his career in a diverse area and contribute to the development of the country as well as his community. To sum up, it is necessary to make the university education free though there are other issues where government needs to provide economic aid. Furthermore, the elite class people do not need tuition fee as they can carry the educational cost. In my view, only people having financial crisis need to be provided with free university education.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is universal right for everyone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, among all the citizen of a state,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
fitness to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them may not. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
issues.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
manage expenditure of all fields of a country.
Surely
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
waives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
tuition fee for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then it would be difficult for the authority to cover other fields such as transport cost, health care facility and disaster preparedness.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has limited resource while there is endless demand.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can save its budget if it provides scholarship to those who actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it and distribute the rest of resource in other area.

In contrast
, right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one of the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of human.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for all.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
after high school graduation due to economic hardship.
Secondly
, by achieving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree an individual can acquire more knowledge
as a result
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to put his knowledge in his working area.
Finally
, he can grow his career in a diverse area and contribute to the development of the country
as well
as his community.

To sum up, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
free though there are other issues where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to provide economic aid.
Furthermore
, the elite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
tuition fee as they can carry the educational cost. In my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
crisis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be provided
with free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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