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Some people believe that parents should supervise their children as close as they can. However, others believe that children should be free from control.

Some people believe that parents should supervise their children as close as they can. However, others believe that children should be free from control. OgnDG
According to some people parents should monitor their children regularly, others believe that children should be free from supervises. I believe that children should parents overlook and give freedom for all but both of this need in moderation. Parents today want supervise their children very seriously but results of this can be ugly for their children. For beneficial side in this idea if children will be in supervise with parents, children in young ages they do not enter in bad ways which have problems with health and family. Disadvantage side of this statement is children need more free time for your worldview because is parents overlooked children more and more they will be looks like in robot, which do all command's. This is can person very unusual habitat.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
regularly
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be free from supervises. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
overlook and give freedom for all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both of this need in moderation.

Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
Probably a preposition is missing after 'want'.
want supervise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
seriously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
results of this can be ugly for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. For beneficial side in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be in supervise with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in young ages they do not enter in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ways which have problems with health and family. Disadvantage side of this statement is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need more free time for your worldview
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
overlooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more and more they will be looks like in robot, which do all
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "commands"?
command's
. This is can person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unusual habitat.

IELTS essay Some people believe that parents should supervise their children as close as they can. However, others believe that children should be free from control.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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