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Some people believe that our personal traits is well developed before we are born and cannot be alter will other think our personal behaviour can be altered with time.In my opinion,I believe that personal traits or behaviours can be changed with time.

Some people believe that our personal traits is well developed before we are born and cannot be alter will other think our personal behaviour can be altered with time. In my opinion, I believe that personal traits or behaviours can be changed with time. MmgNN
Some people believe that our personal traits is well developed before we are born and cannot be alter will other think our personal behavior can be altered with time. In my opinion, I believe that personal traits or behaviors can be changed with time. Firstly, characteristics are mainly developed by the people we are surrounded with and the life situation around us. All are born similarly without any personal traits but eventually with time as one grow he start picking up the things that he is surrounded with. Thus a person develops his behavior firstly from his parents. Then he would be influence by the life situation and the people around him like his teachers, peers etc. Thus is only our life situation that determine our characteristics traits that depends on the requirement of their survival. On the other hand, The traits that are acquired by at the childhood level can be alter gradually by the influence of the society. The friend s we make, the people we surround us with, the people we take our inspiration as. Just like how we gradually change our food habits or get used to different culture when we move to a new place. Personal traits can also be changed over time with consistent effort. Thus it is evident that mostly people have some change in the life with the external influences they are surrounded with. In conclusion, The characteristic traits are not predetermital before birth rather a formation of the atmosphere that we are influenced with. Thus is also predominantly possible for a person to alter his traits with time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
are born
and cannot be alter will other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
behavior can
be altered
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
or behaviors can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with time.

Firstly
, characteristics are
mainly
developed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we
are surrounded
with and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situation around us. All
are born
similarly
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
eventually
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as one grow he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "starts", "started".
start
picking up the things that he
is surrounded
with.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a person develops his behavior
firstly
from his parents. Then he would be influence by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him like his teachers, peers etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situation that determine our characteristics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
that depends on the requirement of their survival.

On the other hand
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
that
are acquired
by at the childhood level can be
Consider using a past participle here: "altered".
alter
gradually
by the influence of the society. The friend s we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we surround us with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we take our inspiration as.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like how we
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our food habits or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a new place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with consistent effort.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is evident that
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with the external influences they
are surrounded
with.

In conclusion
, The characteristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
predetermital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
birth
rather
a formation of the atmosphere that we
are influenced
with.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
is
also
predominantly
possible for a person to alter his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that our personal traits is well developed before we are born and cannot be alter will other think our personal behaviour can be altered with time. In my opinion, I believe that personal traits or behaviours can be changed with time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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