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Some people believe that only university education can ensure success whereas others think the opposite of this view. In this essay, I would discuss both the views before commenting on my opinion.

Some people believe that only university education can ensure success whereas others think the opposite of this view. In this essay, I would 8xbLl
Some people believe that only university education can ensure success whereas others think the opposite of this view. In this essay, I would discuss both the views before commenting on my opinion. Focusing on education provided by universities, it is irrefutable to the fact that higher education gives more opportunities and a wide range of options in career which is necessary in order to get success. Many Universities give a plethora of platforms to students to fulfil their dream. Some universities not only help in academics but also help in applying theoretical knowledge to practical. To exemplify, they organise field trips or industrial visits which give pupils a clear picture of the things that they are learning. Furthermore, universities are also in touch with many organisations who can provide placement for the graduated students. On the other hand, success can come through any direction, it is not necessary that one should go to university to become successful. Even though, many pupils go for higher education they do not get victory because of lack of determination and hard work. It depends upon individuals that how they use all the facilities and opportunities provided by institution. For example, institution offering placement give a platform where they are able to sit in interview but cracking interview will depend upon individuals capability. To conclude, in my opinion, universities can only offer various opportunites and facilities. Thereafter, it depends upon the students how they use it in order to become successful in their life. Success can never be offered; it is always earned through hard work and determination.
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Some
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people
believe that
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only
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university
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education
can ensure
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success
whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite of this view. In this essay, I would discuss both the views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting on my opinion.

Focusing on
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education
provided by
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universities
, it is irrefutable to the fact that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
more opportunities and a wide range of options in career which is necessary in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a plethora of platforms to students to fulfil their dream.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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universities
not
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only
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help
in academics
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but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in applying theoretical knowledge to practical. To exemplify, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
field trips or industrial visits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
pupils a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture of the things that they are learning.
Furthermore
,
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universities
are
also
in touch with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
who can provide placement for the graduated students.

On the other hand
,
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success
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
through any direction, it is not necessary that one should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to become successful.
Even though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils go for higher
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education
they do not
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get
victory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of determination and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. It depends upon individuals that how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all the facilities and opportunities provided by institution.
For example
, institution offering placement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a platform where they are able to sit in interview
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cracking interview will depend upon individuals capability.

To conclude
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offer various
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
and facilities. Thereafter, it depends upon the students how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in order to become successful in their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
can never
be offered
; it is always earned through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and determination.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that only university education can ensure success whereas others think the opposite of this view. In this essay, I would

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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