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Some people believe that old people should be sent to old age homes ?do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that old people should be sent to old age homes? qQa7E
Old age homes, in the modern era, has been constructed to care old people which are not capable to live with their children. Most of the people argue that for better care old people ought to be sent to retirement communities. I totally agree with this statement and will explain why in this essay. To begin with, although there are plethora of reasons why adult children sent their parents to old age homes, the first and foremost one is that in the industrialisation world, they are too busy in their work and have not enough time to spend their parents. Old people feel loneliness and they do not have any work to do, but as comparison to old age homes they can easily communicate with their age mates and have their own specific work to do. For example, it can be seen from various decades that old people in retirement communities spend their life more easier as compare to home. Moreover, some people are not able to take care like financially. To examplify, if old people have a serious illness it is not able for their children to pay high prices for their treatment. So, they sent their parents to old age homes to take care and get treatment. Despite these reasons, age care homes provide all the basic facilities to individual one's. As they can provide better medical condition, also help them with money. Meanwhile, they do not feel bored whenever they are with their agemates. Even thought more facilities are provided in retirement communities which increases their life expectancy rate. Moving further, when they talk with their aged group person, this can release their whole stress. Although they can share their all feeling with them, also convey their messages to each other. As a consequence, there are so many other factors that influences the advantages of old people in old age homes. In conclusion, not only do age homes are very beneficial for older people, but also this can increases their co bonding with other their age mates and reduce loneliness. In the modern era, adult children have not enough time to take care of their older parent, therefore, they prefer to send their parents to retirement communities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, in the modern era, has
been constructed
to
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care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which are not capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
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children
. Most of the
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people
argue that for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, although there are plethora of reasons why adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, the
first
and foremost one is that in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
world, they are too busy in their work and have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
loneliness and
they do not have any work to do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as comparison to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
they can
easily
communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
mates and have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
specific work to do.
For example
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from various decades that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
spend their life
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to home.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
like
financially
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a serious illness it is not able for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to pay high prices for their treatment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treatment.

Despite these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
provide all the basic facilities to individual one's. As they can provide better medical condition,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with money. Meanwhile, they do not feel bored whenever they are with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
agemates
. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
more facilities
are provided
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
which increases their life expectancy rate. Moving
further
, when they talk with their aged group person, this can release their whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Although they can share their all feeling with them,
also
convey their messages to each other. As a consequence, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors that influences the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for older
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people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
this can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "increase"
increases
their co bonding with other their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
mates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
loneliness. In the modern era, adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
,
therefore
, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
communities
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IELTS essay Some people believe that old people should be sent to old age homes?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
369 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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