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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? 7xXk
We live in modern era of the decade so people have a many choices in every sector such as education, work, consumer things and many more. I totally 'agree' with this view as I believe that choice are being increased day by day. So I would like to mention all the thing along with few proper examples. The view which asserts that, nowadays we have so many choices at everywhere, can be substantiated with a couple of reason. The most common observation in this matter is that, every people has their own ideas and choices for specific subjects and things as well. It is a gospel truth that, people live in 21st century which known as "smartest century". As a consequence, the apparent outcome is that, people can get various types of facilities at everywhere. Furthermore the fact that, "getting an options" are beneficial things according to given circumstances can also be taken into the account to reinforce their view. For a example, Students may select better option for their bright future as students have so many options for academic. Additionally, this is also beneficial for the consumers, cannot be ignored. To exemplify, consumer get many choices day by day so it is convenient for buying things, as well as, it also helps in growth of the economy and provide bread and butter to many lives. In the sharp contrast to the former group, there is a wide spread belief that, it is difficult to find choices at somewhere at the present era. This leads to depressing outcome for those who cannot find choices. For a example, some students have a enough requirements for their career due to their poor academic record and financial condition respectively. However, those people can be happy with their affordable choices. To recapitulate, this view is gaining ground nowadays and it would be unstoppable in the future as choice are being increased owing to upcoming modern technology. I hope that, It would be remained same as present.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in modern era of the decade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in every sector such as education, work, consumer things and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. I
A verb is probably missing after 'totally'.
totally '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
' with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
as I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
are
being increased
day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like to mention all the thing along with few proper examples.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
which asserts that, nowadays we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
at everywhere, can
be substantiated
with a couple of reason. The most common observation in this matter is that, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for specific subjects and things
as well
. It is a gospel truth that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in 21st century which known as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
smartest century
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. As a consequence, the apparent outcome is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various types of facilities at everywhere.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the fact that,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
getting
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an option" or simply "options"?
an options
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
are beneficial things according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
circumstances can
also
be taken
into the account to reinforce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
. For
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
example, Students may select better option for their bright future as students have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options for academic.
Additionally
, this is
also
beneficial for the consumers, cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. To exemplify, consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "choices'" or "choice's"?
choices
day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is convenient for buying things,
as well
as, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in growth of the economy and provide bread and butter to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In the sharp contrast to the former group, there is a wide spread belief that, it is difficult to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
at somewhere at the present era. This leads to depressing outcome for those who cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. For
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "requirement"?
requirements
for their career due to their poor academic record and financial condition
respectively
.
However
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be happy with their affordable choices.

To recapitulate, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is gaining ground nowadays and it would be unstoppable in the future as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
are
being increased
owing to upcoming modern technology. I hope that, It would
be remained
same as present.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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