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some people believe that nowadays there are too many choices regarding career. do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people believe that nowadays there are too many choices regarding career. 26bXJ
In contemporary times, a group have an opinion that there are various jobs or businesses related professions. The professions available in regards to the ever increasing population of the world, I completely disagree with the statement that there are too many choices regarding career. This essay will argue why I believe these choices give more options to people. Firstly, more career options give people diversity in their choices. They can pursue one career and change it to another career if a person does not feel any accomplishments according to their set goals they want to achieve. Jeff Bezos is a prime example; he had a lucrative career in computer science on Wall Street before transitioning into the world of E-Commerce and launching amazon. Secondly, the increasing population of the world is causing many people to become jobless. This is for the reason that the world population has been growing rapidly and more people are not finding a job to pursue their career goals. Most people cannot afford to do business so they have to get a job. In Pakistan, many people are jobless and are struggling financially because of it. The government promised many jobs but is struggling to do so. In conclusion, the diversity of choices in career is always helpful and more jobs are important to people can pursue their career goals. There is no question that there should be different career choices in modern times.
In contemporary times, a group have an opinion that there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or businesses related professions. The professions available
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
population of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, I completely disagree with the statement that there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. This essay will argue why I believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
give more options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
options give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
diversity in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. They can pursue one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
if a person does not feel any accomplishments according to their set goals they want to achieve. Jeff Bezos is a prime example; he had a lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in computer science on Wall Street
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
transitioning into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of E-Commerce and launching
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
.

Secondly
, the increasing population of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become jobless. This is for the reason that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
population has been growing
rapidly
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford to do business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are jobless and are struggling
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
promised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is struggling to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

In conclusion
, the diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is always helpful and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals. There is no question that there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in modern times.
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IELTS essay some people believe that nowadays there are too many choices regarding career.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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