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some people believe that music is to be shared. others , however, believe that music belong to those who make it and should only be shared with their authorisation.

some people believe that music is to be shared. others, however, believe that music belong to those who make it and should only be shared with their authorisation. 3bldN
It is undeniable that, everyone in the world appeal music while neglecting the age, sex, ethnicity and religion. Some brains think, everyone should allow to use these songs while others argue that, others should have original artist's permission to use it. In my opinion I strongly believe, people are allow to use others property with the authorization of owner which is even applicable for the music as well. To begin with, If music shared with others, It will create several unnecessary problems. For Example, people may alter original words, meaning which will harm the artistic value of the original work. On the other hand, this may lead to cultural conflicts among cultures. A owner of a grate piece of art may never want to deteriorate it. Accordingly, first artist belong the masterpiece themselves and they have ability to allow others to use it with their supervision. Similarly, they spend their time, knowledge, skills and money to produce their work. It is a hard work not only of a single person but also a group. Therefore, music concern as a private property. For For further clarification, scientists receive patient for their new discoveries. It can not be used without giving value to them. Music also a result of a hard work that need to be valued by others. It is illegal to use someone else someone else published work without proper referencing. As can be seen, It is not ethical to use artistic work without their authorization. To conclude, there are enough evidence to support that the necessity of authorization from music artists to use their song. This will avoid possible unnecessary problems that can arise within the society due to the alteration of original version. the change of original work also unethical as they spent energy and resources to produce it. As can be seen, my view is, people should get permission from owner to share their music.
It is undeniable that, everyone in the world appeal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
while neglecting the age, sex, ethnicity and religion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
brains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these songs while others argue that, others should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
artist's permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. In my opinion I
strongly
believe,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
others property with the authorization of owner which is even applicable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
shared with others, It will create several unnecessary problems.
For Example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
words, meaning which will harm the artistic value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this may lead to cultural conflicts among cultures.
Use "An" instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
A
owner of a grate piece of art may never want to deteriorate it.
Accordingly
,
first
artist belong the masterpiece
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
they have ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it with their supervision.

Similarly
, they spend their time, knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and money to produce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of a single person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a group.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
concern as a private property.
Possible typo: you repeated a word
For For
further
clarification, scientists receive patient for their new discoveries. It can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
without giving value to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
also
a result of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that need to
be valued
by others. It is illegal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "someone else".
someone else someone else
published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without proper referencing. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, It is not ethical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without their authorization.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
evidence to support that the necessity of authorization from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
artists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their song. This will avoid possible unnecessary problems that can arise within the society due to the alteration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
version.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
unethical as they spent energy and resources to produce it. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, my view is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission from owner to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay some people believe that music is to be shared. others, however, believe that music belong to those who make it and should only be shared with their authorisation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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