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Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree.

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. k6o6n
Some humankind consider currency as a priority as a present for adolescents, whereas others go against to this way of thinking. I agree with the first statement to some extent, however this is not the only solution. This essay will consider both positions and express an opinion at the end. It seems to me that it depends on mankind. Each person has their own preferation on something. To put it in another way, some adolescents may adore sports, anime, film or music and so on. Consequently it is good idea to take into account his or her preferation before you choose the present for him or her. Moreover this kind of present would be more soul warming and cause of great pleasure than currency. On the other hand, there are several situation that the person is not aware of his/her preferation on something or hobby. In this case, money would be an acceptable way to solve this problem. Especially it would be great present of currency wrapped up in the envelope and with a little greeting card. Furthermore, there are a plethora of ways to give a present. A good illustration of this is cake with money. You can bake a cake by yourself at home, and while preparing you should put the money inside of the cake so that anyone can't see it. Or, either you can order the cake in the bakery. However you should not forget to tell about currency which is the main present. To conclude, money is not always good option as a present. People can choose better present for adolescents by taking into account their preferation. So this kind of gift could bring a good feeling of pleasure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
humankind consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
as a priority as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
for adolescents, whereas others go against to this way of thinking. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
statement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
however
this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution. This essay will consider both positions and express an opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. It seems to me that it depends on mankind. Each person has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
preferation
on something. To put it in another way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adolescents may adore sports, anime, film or music and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to take into account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
Possible spelling mistake found.
preferation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
for him or her.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
would be more soul warming and cause of great pleasure than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
.
On the other hand
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun situation seems to be countable; consider using: "several situations".
several situation
that the person is not aware of his/her
Possible spelling mistake found.
preferation
on something or hobby.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would be an acceptable way to solve this problem.
Especially
it would be great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
wrapped up in the envelope and with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
greeting card.
Furthermore
, there are a plethora of ways to give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
illustration of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cake
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. You can bake a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cake
by yourself at home, and while preparing you should put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "inside".
inside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that anyone can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it. Or, either you can order the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cake
in the bakery.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
you should not forget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
which is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
option as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can choose better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
for adolescents by taking into account their
Possible spelling mistake found.
preferation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this kind of gift could bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
feeling of pleasure.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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