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Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. what are the causes and offer a solution?

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. what are the causes and offer a solution? GNmro
Many important towns throughout the world have a significant issue of overcrowding, this is because of the reason that many urban areas are now being developed as a crucial hub for a plethora of multinational company that employs a large number of people from the adjacent rural areas of the town. additionally, from a different part of the country as well. In my viewpoint, this form of crowding can be lowered if the growth and development are equally allocated to distinct parts of the nation. On the one hand, I think the progress in terms of infrastructure along with the evolution of the private sectors is the major factor in increasing the population of a certain area of the country worldwide. In other words, the establishment of many well-known companies is attracting people from different parts of the world as they play a crucial role in earning a livelihood for many others. For instance, nowadays people are becoming more advanced with their opinion like a farmer, instead of expecting his son to carry on his same profession and become a farmer, however, desires his son to evolve as an engineer or a doctor or wishes to visualize his offspring working for any global organization. Furthermore, this encourages the present generations to get themselves a quality education which on the other hand lead to the urban parts of the country. hence, this is one of the consequences of the crowdedness. On the other hand, I believe that this problem can be resolved if the compassion of the economic sector is balanced and invariably located in different parts of a province. To be more precise, if one finds every aspect to grow in terms of basic education, higher education in conjunction with the best career opportunities, then there would be no requirement to move away from one’s own hometown and get settled in any other city that has been congested via individuals from the countryside. So, in my opinion, the development and the proliferation of every state is a vital measure that eventually leads to a drop in the population levels of any area. To conclude, certainly the progress of any part of territory captivates a large amount of mass, however, development in all the regions may decrease this kind of human inflow into a particular sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
towns throughout the world have a significant issue of overcrowding, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban areas are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being developed
as a crucial hub for a plethora of multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that employs
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the adjacent rural areas of the town.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
additionally
, from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the country
as well
. In my viewpoint, this form of crowding can
be lowered
if the growth and development are
equally
allocated to distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the nation.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the progress in terms of infrastructure along with the evolution of the private sectors is the major factor in increasing the population of a certain area of the country worldwide. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the establishment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is attracting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the world as they play a crucial role in earning a livelihood for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.
For instance
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming more advanced with their opinion like a farmer,
instead
of expecting his son to carry on his same profession and become a farmer,
however
, desires his son to evolve as an engineer or a doctor or wishes to visualize his offspring working for any global organization.
Furthermore
, this encourages the present generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
themselves a quality education which on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand lead to the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, this is one of the consequences of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
crowdedness
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that this problem can
be resolved
if the compassion of the economic sector
is balanced
and
invariably
located in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of a province. To be more precise, if one finds every aspect to grow in terms of basic education, higher education in conjunction with the best career opportunities, then there would be no requirement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hometown and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
settled in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
city that has
been congested
via individuals from the countryside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, the development and the proliferation of every state is a vital measure that
eventually
leads to a drop in the population levels of any area.

To conclude
,
certainly
the progress of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of territory captivates a large amount of mass,
however
, development in all the regions may decrease this kind of human inflow into a particular sector.
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IELTS essay Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. what are the causes and offer a solution?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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