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Some people believe that modern technology has enhanced sociable behaviour, but others think it has reduced social interactions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that modern technology has enhanced sociable behaviour, but others think it has reduced social interactions. v. 1
While some people argue that modern technology has broaden the way we socialize, others take the view that social interactions has been reduced tremendously. I agree with the latter statement, more often than not, people are constantly engaged their personal mobile device even during a get together event. On one side, it is true that the present-day technology adds more benefits than ever. Firstly, it brings long-distance relatives closer through high quality video call. For instance, my nephew who lives in Germany could call me after school to show off his Karate move every once in a while. Another interesting point, introverts could express more of their talent though a social media platform without experiencing the social anxiety as they do not need to perform in front of them. Despite the above arguments, I hold the position in which physical, social interaction has decreased progressively. A survey done in the UK, 4 years ago reports that young people are often feeling lonely. This was based on the responses where the youth is found with lack of intimacy in their relationships. One example given was, they merely remember their peer's birthday if not reminded by Facebook. This resulted in a shallow relationship where many negative impacts have shown in the recent years. For example, cyber bullying has increased compared to physical bullying itself. In conclusion, while both views are commonly held in society, I believe that modern day technology has shifted the way humanity interacts with one another from the warmth of face-to-face encounters to the heat of digital devices. Given this situation, it is recommended to encourage younger generations to shake things up and be more involved in social activity, instead of being a couch potato in their own world.
While
some
people
argue that modern technology has
broaden
the way we socialize, others take the view that
social
interactions has been
reduced
tremendously
. I
agree
with the latter statement, more
often
than not,
people
are
constantly
engaged their personal mobile device even during a
get
together
event
.

On one side, it is true that the present-day technology
adds
more benefits than ever.
Firstly
, it brings long-distance relatives closer through high quality video call.
For instance
, my nephew who
lives
in Germany could call me after school to
show
off his Karate
move
every once in a while. Another interesting point, introverts could express more of their talent though a
social
media platform without experiencing the
social
anxiety as they do not need to perform in front of them.

Despite the above arguments, I hold the position in which physical,
social
interaction has decreased
progressively
. A survey done in the UK, 4 years ago reports that young
people
are
often
feeling lonely. This
was based
on the responses where the youth
is found
with lack of intimacy in their relationships. One example
given
was, they
merely
remember their peer's birthday if not reminded by Facebook. This resulted in a shallow relationship where
many
negative
impacts have shown in the recent years.
For example
,
cyber bullying
has increased compared to physical bullying itself.

In conclusion
, while both views are
commonly
held in society, I believe that modern day technology has shifted the way humanity interacts with one another from the warmth of face-to-face encounters to the heat of digital devices.
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
to encourage younger generations to shake things up and be more involved in
social
activity,
instead
of being a couch potato in their
own
world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people believe that modern technology has enhanced sociable behaviour, but others think it has reduced social interactions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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