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Some people believe that mobile phones at school should be banned. However, others argue that it is necessary for youngsters to have phones. Discuss both sides

Some people believe that mobile phones at school should be banned. However, others argue that it is necessary for youngsters to have phones. Discuss both sides 56M2B
It is often argued that authorities should not allow students to use smartphones while studying, whilst others claim that phones are considered as a vital item for young generation. This essay will discuss both points of views. It is clear that the main reason why people are in favor of the idea of using mobile phones should be forbidden is that gadgets result in less concentration. It is therefore agreed that students should not bring phones to school and focus on classes instead. They must do their best in order to achieve good results in further education. In this case phone games are prime examples. If pupils are in the classroom and have a phone at the same time, they are likely to find themselves in a dilemma and at the end the majority of students will choose games because they tend to opt entertaining things. However, many agree that school children can discriminate beneficial and harmful actions and they are able to use phones on the right way. For instance, combination of the Internet, phone and teacher-led classes assist students to elevate their knowledge in a wide range of areas. To sum up, while the benefits of using phones keep motivated school kids and give them adequate knowledge, some still feel that it is significant to ban children use mobile phones. However, in my opinion using phones is the best way to gain knowledge.
It is
often
argued that authorities should not
allow
students
to
use
smartphones while studying, whilst others claim that
phones
are considered
as a vital item for young generation. This essay will discuss both points of views. It is
clear
that the main reason why
people
are in favor of the
idea
of using mobile
phones
should
be forbidden
is that gadgets result in less concentration. It is
therefore
agreed
that
students
should not bring
phones
to school and focus on classes
instead
. They
must
do their best in order to achieve
good
results in
further
education.
In this case
phone
games are prime examples. If pupils are in the classroom and have a
phone
at the same time, they are likely to find themselves in a dilemma and at the
end
the majority of
students
will choose games
because
they tend to opt entertaining things.
However
,
many
agree
that school children can discriminate beneficial and harmful
actions and
they are able to
use
phones
on the right way.
For instance
, combination of the Internet,
phone
and teacher-led classes assist
students
to elevate their knowledge in a wide range of areas. To sum up, while the benefits of using
phones
keep
motivated school kids and give them adequate knowledge,
some
still
feel that it is significant to ban children
use
mobile
phones
.
However
, in my opinion using
phones
is the best way to gain knowledge.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that mobile phones at school should be banned. However, others argue that it is necessary for youngsters to have phones. Discuss both sides

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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