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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

It is believed by some that men and women are not equal, thus women are not suitable for certain jobs. Whereas others feel, men and women are equal in every aspect so no one should stop women from doing the job they want. I am in the favor of latter view. The primary reason behind this is a woman appointed in every field whether it is sports, teaching, security services, healthcare or law, can assure millions of other women that they can trust government and security services. In other words, if a girl is victim of sexual harassment she can comfortably report about it to a female HR, female teacher, female social worker, female nurse or female police officer. Additionally, an educated and working women can inculcate more ethical values to their children. Moreover, by letting a woman chose her occupation will make our society strong. On top of that, a woman will bring new perspective in the industry. For instance, if a lady is chosen to be in a all men jury now there will be less chances of a biased decision by contradicting a decision which is neglecting women rights. A survey done by Times showed that patients taking treatments from a female psychiatrist showed better improvements after few visits only as compared to patients of a male psychiatrist, because a female can understand emotions in a better way than a male. In conclusion, we should not restrict women from achieving their dreams or from doing a certain job as this will not help our society grow. If a person is applying for a job we should not judge him or her on the basis of gender, an employer should look for knowledge and skills required for job irrespective of their gender.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not equal,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not suitable for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Whereas others feel,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are equal in every aspect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they want. I am in the favor of latter view.

The primary reason behind this is a woman appointed in every field whether it is sports, teaching, security services, healthcare or law, can assure millions of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
that they can trust
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and security services.
In other words
, if a girl is victim of sexual harassment she can
comfortably
report about it to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
HR,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
teacher,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
social worker,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
nurse or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
police officer.
Additionally
, an educated and working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can inculcate more ethical values to their children.
Moreover
, by letting a woman chose her occupation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our society strong.

On top of that
, a woman will bring new perspective in the industry.
For instance
, if a lady
is chosen
to be in
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
jury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there will be
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of a biased decision by contradicting a decision which is neglecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
rights. A survey done by Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that patients taking treatments from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
psychiatrist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
better improvements after few visits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as compared to patients of a male psychiatrist,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
can understand emotions in a better way than a male.

In conclusion
, we should not restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from achieving their dreams or from doing a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our society grow. If a person is applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
we should not judge him or her on the basis of gender, an employer should look for knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
irrespective of their gender.

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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