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Studying abroad, write your opinion in this topic

Travelling overseas to continue education is always a difficult decision to take, however, why not if the person does see himself able to. Apart from the fact that it requires a bunch of coins, it is worth mentioning that a strong personality is a crucial requirement also! Meeting new people, making good relationships with strangers, and having the ability to deal with any obstacle abroad have been the majorities’ problem. Besides, the fear of kicking the bucket outside the homeland leads to some disruption in the people willing to study abroad and makes them regret their decision. Such a crisis makes us curious to look up for solutions that will vanish it. To begin with, universities in each country should provide a financial aid for each student that is not able to cover all fees. Moreover, why not having those who finished their studies overseas and let them advise the people here on what is awaiting them on their next stage and how to avoid any inconvenience while staying there. Furthermore, we can hire doctors specialized in mental health to aid those who suffer from the phobia of exceeding the borders of the country. In conclusion, I highly recommend studying abroad although it may have some drawbacks, however, its benefits outweighs the disadvantages thus I see no reason to disagree the idea. Not to mention the tremendous support I will offer to any person who has the intention to explore the adventures of life and study overseas.
Travelling overseas to continue education is always a difficult decision to take,
however
, why not if the person does
see
himself able to. Apart from the fact that it requires a bunch of coins, it is worth mentioning that a strong personality is a crucial requirement
also
! Meeting new
people
, making
good
relationships with strangers, and having the ability to deal with any obstacle abroad have been the majorities’ problem.
Besides
, the fear of kicking the bucket outside the homeland leads to
some
disruption in the
people
willing to study abroad and
makes
them regret their decision. Such a crisis
makes
us curious to look up for solutions that will vanish it. To
begin
with, universities in each country should provide a financial aid for each student
that is
not able to cover all fees.
Moreover
, why not having those who finished their studies overseas and
let
them advise the
people
here on what is awaiting them on their
next
stage and how to avoid any inconvenience while staying there.
Furthermore
, we can hire doctors specialized in mental health to aid those who suffer from the phobia of exceeding the borders of the country.
In conclusion
, I
highly
recommend studying abroad although it may have
some
drawbacks,
however
, its benefits outweighs the disadvantages
thus
I
see
no reason to disagree the
idea
. Not to mention the tremendous support I will offer to any person who has the intention to explore the adventures of life and study overseas.
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IELTS essay Studying abroad, write your opinion in this topic

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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