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In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v.19

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 19
The government propose a solution to tackle traffic congestion problem, that is first tax the car drivers and then use the tax money on public transportation. This solution would certainly have some positive effects on the problem, meanwhile drawbacks also exist. The benefit of posing tax on private divers are quite obvious in terms of directly dealing with the number of cars on streets. Introducing tax could alienate people from choosing car for commuting, especially when they are swaying between private transportation and public transportation. In addition to this, the tax money could be spent on funding more continent public transportation like subway and buses. However, the shallowness of this policy is also stunning. First of all, it is not sure if the added tax could really drive people away from driving their own cars for work. Because it is very possible that a certain amount of people drive as public transportation could not get them where they are going. Thus, tax could not solve the problem but rip hard working people off. Second, place funding on public transportation has not grounds as there may already exists a surplus of public transportation, putting more money on redundant services would be nothing but a waste of money. Thus, more research needs to be done on this issue to evaluate the solution. To conclude, there are both advantages and disadvantages of the government proposal. But the decision has to be made on more detailed information about the problem as it could work both ways.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
propose a solution to tackle traffic congestion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
that is
first
Consider using a past participle here: "taxed".
tax
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
drivers and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. This solution would
certainly
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, meanwhile drawbacks
also
exist.

The benefit of posing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on private divers are quite obvious in terms of
directly
dealing with the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on streets. Introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
could alienate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for commuting,
especially
when they are swaying between private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be spent
on funding more continent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
like subway and buses.

However
, the shallowness of this policy is
also
stunning.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is not sure if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
could
really
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from driving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
possible that a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drive as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them where they are going.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
could not solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rip
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
off. Second, place funding on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has not grounds as there may already exists a surplus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, putting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on redundant services would be nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Thus
, more research needs to
be done
on this issue to evaluate the solution.

To conclude
, there are both advantages and disadvantages of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
proposal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be made
on more detailed information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
as it could work both ways.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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