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Some people believe that it is wrong for professional athletes to compete in the Olympics because their strong financial backing and training give them an unfair advantage over the other athletes. To what extent do you agree or disagree

There is an opinion that professional athletes who participate in Olympic games have a biased advantage over other athletes as a result of their financial strength and trainings, therefore, they should not partake in such competitions. I totally concur with this presumption because Olympic gaming events are an opportunity for new athletes to showcase their talents, as well as the occupying of positions meant for upcoming stars. Although a professional sportsperson may bring more entertainment to an Olympic event, more often than not, their accumulation of medals hinders the chances of new talents. Superstars in sports would no doubt dominate in many events they participate in. This dominance may not mean that they are better in comparison to newer athletes. On the contrary, their consistent appearance at previous events gives them more convenience or bravery to surpass new partakers. What is then the impact of this? Many young talents look forward to represent their countries at such games and gain medals in the process. When such ambitions are stalled by professional sports players, then, many upcoming stars may go unnoticed or unannounced to the world early. Kenneth Coleman, one of the fastest runners in Nigeria, for example, was to represent in the 2018 Olympic games. However, he never got his shot at victory, since Usain Bolt used his past knowledge about the games to win ahead of others. Yet another reason for holding the view that professional sports men and women should leave the Olympics for other athletes is that they take up positions reserved for other representatives. Fame and fortune is not restricted to one individual. If one has achieved this fit, it is only wise that they give room for others to taste victory. Many people dream of taking part in relays, swimming or boxing and are told to wait their turn, until a superstar resigns or retires. In the process of waiting, many newcomers loose interest and never achieve their goals. No one ever heard of Jake Smith as he resorted to going to the university and dropped his passion for swimming after being told to hold on for Micheal Phelps to retire. To sum up, it is true that the constant participation of professional athletes at the Olympics is totally wrong. This is simply due to the new talents that would be held back and the halting of the sports dreams of other athletes.
There is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
who participate in Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have a biased advantage over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
as a result
of their financial strength and trainings,
therefore
, they should not partake in such competitions. I
totally
concur with this presumption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Olympic gaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
to showcase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
,
as well
as the occupying of positions meant for upcoming stars.

Although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
sportsperson may bring more entertainment to an Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, their accumulation of medals hinders the chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. Superstars in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
would no doubt dominate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
they participate in. This dominance may not mean that they are better
in comparison
to newer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
.
On the contrary
, their consistent appearance at previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
gives them more convenience or bravery to surpass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
partakers. What is then the impact of this?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
look forward
In the grammatical structure ‘look + forward + to + verb’, the verb ‘to’ is used with the gerund: “to representing”.
to represent
their countries at such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and gain medals in the process. When such ambitions
are stalled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players, then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
upcoming stars may go unnoticed or unannounced to the world early. Kenneth Coleman, one of the fastest runners in Nigeria,
for example
, was to represent in the 2018 Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
However
, he never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
his shot at victory, since Usain Bolt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
his past knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to win ahead of others.

Yet
another reason for holding the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the Olympics for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
is that they take up positions reserved for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
representatives. Fame and fortune is not restricted to one individual. If one has achieved this fit, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wise that they give room for others to taste victory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dream of taking part in relays, swimming or boxing and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to wait their turn, until a superstar resigns or retires. In the process of waiting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
newcomers loose interest and never achieve their goals. No one ever heard of Jake Smith as he resorted to going to the university and dropped his passion for swimming after being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to hold on for Micheal Phelps to retire.

To sum up, it is true that the constant participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
at the Olympics is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This is
simply
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
that would
be held
back and the halting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
dreams of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is wrong for professional athletes to compete in the Olympics because their strong financial backing and training give them an unfair advantage over the other athletes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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