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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. GmYB
People’s opinions differ as to whether governments or public are responsible for maintaining good health and regulating food qualities. Personally, I believe in the former viewpoint on this matter. Those who argue that it is the sole domain of individuals to maintain health have their reasons. Firstly, people have a choice what to eat. The preference of the meal decides the gain or loss of health, both healthy and unhealthy alternatives are available in the market. For example, at a fast food restaurant, despite the availability of fatty foods like burgers and pizzas, healthy food like salads are also available. Secondly, people can do exercise and make changes in their lifestyles on their own. For example, they can add exercise regimen and can change some habits like making sure to go to bed early at night and less use of electronic devices. However, I side with those who feel that governments are responsible for providing healthy diet. One reason is that they have power to regulate the quality of food by banning the harmful contents. For example, in the last decade the Indian government banned carcinogenic compounds, which resulted in a decrease in the number of cancer patients. Another reason is that governments have funds to provide sustenance items to people who cannot afford. For example, during covid lockdown the Indian government was funding to provide proper meals to poor and labour workers to save their lives. In conclusion, while there are reasons to believe that maintaining health is everybody’s own responsibility. My own view is that governments are more responsible to provide healthy alternatives because they have powers to regulate the quality of food and have funds to provide healthy diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
opinions differ
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or public are responsible for maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and regulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
qualities.
Personally
, I believe in the former viewpoint on this matter.

Those who argue that it is the sole domain of individuals to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a choice what to eat. The preference of the meal decides the gain or loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and unhealthy alternatives are available in the market. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant, despite the availability of fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like burgers and pizzas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like salads are
also
available.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their lifestyles on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
exercise regimen and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
habits like making sure to go to bed early at night and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices.

However
, I side with those who feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that they have power to regulate the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by banning the harmful contents. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in the last decade the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
banned carcinogenic compounds, which resulted in a decrease in the number of cancer patients. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
sustenance items to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot afford. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, during
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
lockdown the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
was funding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
proper meals to poor and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
workers to save their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, while there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to believe that maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is everybody’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are more responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
alternatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have powers to regulate the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and have funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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