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Some people believe that it is important to invest in the future, while others argue it is better to just focus on the present. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is important to invest in the future, while others argue it is better to just focus on the present. gqJW7
Different people have different viewpoints of lifestyle, ways to achieve success. While it is true that the future investment is needed, I am in favor of the opinion that it is present concentration that is extremely vital. Firstly, making plans for the future is important. Each people have their own aims, dreams and goals. In order to hit that target, they have to build plans of what to do and how to do it. Planning is an important factor to improve people’s abilities and careers. Furthermore, having a plan is also a motivation to make effort on their dreams. When people set a decision for their future, they will also learn how to manage their time and have a better method of studying or fulfilling plans. On the other hand, I still believe that it is more necessary to concentrate on the present. Many people often set goals that are unrealistic and too high. They focus too much on what they wanted and hoped even if it is possible. Therefore, maintaining focus on the present is much more crucial. People need to give insight into their personality, ability and what they like in order to set the right goals and aims. Therefore, they can build plans to achieve that. Moreover, when people think too much about their future, the risk in their plans, they may be under a lot of stress and pressure. Nobody knows what will happen so that people should enjoy the moment and improve themselves. In conclusion, it is true that it is essential to invest in the future, it seems to me that giving attention on the present is much more vital.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoints of lifestyle, ways to achieve success. While it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
investment
is needed
, I am in favor of the opinion that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
concentration
that is
extremely
vital.

Firstly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
aims, dreams and goals. In order to hit that target, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
of what to do and how to do it. Planning is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
abilities and careers.
Furthermore
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
is
also
a motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effort on their dreams. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
set a decision for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, they will
also
learn how to manage their time and have a better method of studying or fulfilling plans.

On the other hand
, I
still
believe that it is more necessary to concentrate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
set goals that are unrealistic and too high. They focus too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
on what they wanted and hoped even if it is possible.
Therefore
, maintaining focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more crucial.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to give insight into their personality, ability and what they like in order to set the right goals and aims.
Therefore
, they can build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
to achieve that.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
, they may be under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure. Nobody knows what will happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should enjoy the moment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.

In conclusion
, it is true that it is essential to invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, it seems to me that giving attention on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more vital.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important to invest in the future, while others argue it is better to just focus on the present.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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