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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. PeEw
In this technology era, information has become a crucial thing nearly in every aspect of life. That is why it becomes important for individuals to announce what they invented. However, the amount of data of any inventions costs enough fund to be discovered. Based on my point of view, it will be better to publish new knowledge costless instead of be paid. To begin with, some of our societies assume that every data of new invention has to be shared with no charge. In order to accelerate development of civilization, the latest information is released by inventors to support other research and as up-to-date data in education without any fee. For instance, the newest fact about sperm that it is spinning to ovum instead of swimming is officially published by researchers costless to update the information in not only health but also the education. On the other hand, a great deal of the data is restricted and it can be accessed by only some groups of people as the experiment takes much money so who wants to obtain the information has to pay. This limitation will inhibit the growth of knowledge of students who short in cash to gain access to the information. To sum up, i personally agree that the latest data should be shared to public in purpose to educate as well as update the previous data. I recommend that the restricted information which has to pay amount of cash to get it is released freely as soon as the inventors gain profit more than they have expend.
In this technology era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has become a crucial thing
nearly
in every aspect of life.
That is
why it becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for individuals to announce what they invented.
However
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of any inventions costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fund to
be discovered
. Based on my point of view, it will be better to publish new knowledge
Possible spelling mistake found.
costless
instead
of
be paid
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our societies assume that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of new invention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be shared
with no charge. In order to accelerate development of civilization, the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is released
by inventors to support other research and as up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in education without any fee.
For instance
, the newest fact about sperm that it is spinning to ovum
instead
of swimming is
officially
published by researchers
Possible spelling mistake found.
costless
to update the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the education.

On the other hand
, a great deal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is restricted
and it can
be accessed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as the experiment takes much money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
who wants to obtain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay. This limitation will inhibit the growth of knowledge of students who short in cash to gain access to the information.

To sum up,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
should
be shared
to public in purpose to educate
as well
as update the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. I recommend that the restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay amount of cash to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it
is released
freely
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the inventors gain profit more than they have
Use past participle here: "expended".
expend
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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