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It is said that moeny is the most important factor when deciding on a career path what are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking in this way?

It is said that moeny is the most important factor when deciding on a career path what are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking in this way? WOyN
This is to say that money is more essential aspect while selecting a career path. the merits are with the help of moeny people can open their own business and they can fulfill their basic needs. the demerits are people cannot enjoy their life properly and they cannot able to think about their children's bright future. With the support of moeny people can fulfill their basic needs in this way, if people will have too much money, it will be easy for them to buy anything what they want in their life. The second merit is that people can open their own business. They can invest their money for establishing their own work. This is because, people do not want to do any private and government job in their life. For example, in india, there are 70% of individuals have their own works and they feel very comfortable in their work. The flip side of this notion, people cannot enjoy their life properly. this is because, when a person do not have money to survive in the world, they cannot able to lead happily in life as well as they will not able to fulfill their basic needs. Furthermore, due to low financial status, . Persons are not unable to think about Their children's better future, because already they are living in poverty. So, that is a main reason behind this notion. For example, the sunday times newspaper has reported that There are 45% of parents who are unable to secure their child's future because lack of money. In conclusion, the benefits of money is that it is a basic need to fulfill our regular desires, However the demerits of this notion is that individuals cannot enjoy their life and they cannot able to think about their child's future.
This is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is more essential aspect while selecting a career path.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
merits are with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
moeny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can open their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
they can fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
demerits are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
properly and
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their children's bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. With the support of
Possible spelling mistake found.
moeny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in this way, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it will be easy for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything what they want in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The second merit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can open their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. They can invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for establishing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to do any private and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
job in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
, there are 70% of individuals have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
works and
they feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable in their work. The flip side of this notion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
properly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when a person do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive in the world, they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to lead
happily
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Furthermore
, due to low financial status
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Persons are not unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about Their children's better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
already they are living in poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
a main reason behind this notion.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
the sunday times
newspaper has reported that There are 45% of parents who are unable to secure their child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In conclusion
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to fulfill our regular desires,
However
the demerits of this notion is that individuals cannot enjoy their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay It is said that moeny is the most important factor when deciding on a career path what are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking in this way?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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