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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion 22yX
There are different views about sharing as much information as possible in various subjects like business and the academic world. In contrast, others admit that some information must not be shared because they are too important to share at no cost. From my perspective, I agree with the latter. There are some reasons why people think that it is good to share all information around the world. First, with sharing information poor countries can upgrade or update their facilities. These countries, therefore, can provide more comfort than in the past. Second, when a tremendous epidemic happens, while information is shared worldwide, It will save people's life. Third, sometimes the same subject is researched by many countries. As a result, if they had worked together, they would have mitigated the cost and time. However, I would argue that some information is vital and must not be shared. Inventing is not cheap and has a lot of expenses for its government. Hence, sharing these inventions or information with non-revenue will harm our economy. In addition, governments can not share new military equipment because it against our national defenses, and a new enemy may threaten the people's safety of our country. Furthermore, the income of some countries depends on vital information which they have. If they, therefore, share it, their socioeconomic will be endangered. In conclusion, although people have different views about sharing information worldwide, I would argue that we must not share some important and valuable information.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as possible in various subjects like business and the academic world.
In contrast
, others admit that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be shared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
at no cost. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
around the world.
First
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can upgrade or update their facilities. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
therefore
, can provide more comfort than in the past. Second, when a tremendous epidemic happens, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is shared
worldwide, It will save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. Third,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the same subject
is researched
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
, if they had worked together, they would have mitigated the cost and time.

However
, I would argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is vital and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be shared
. Inventing is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expenses for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
these inventions or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with non-revenue will harm our economy.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
new military equipment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it against our national defenses, and a new enemy may threaten the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's safety of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, the income of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
depends on vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which they have. If they,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
it, their socioeconomic will
be endangered
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
worldwide, I would argue that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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