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the land of parks is wasted and shold be used for other purposes. Do you agree or disagree?

the land of parks is wasted and shold be used for other purposes. Lj8p
One of the important question in urban development is should we create functional cities and concrete the spase for more buildings or cities shold be green. Althugh some people consider that green recreation areas are just waste of the land that can be used for making cities more compact, I adhere to belive that such zones as parks are nesessary in the cities. One of the main arguments that supports my point of view is that parks help people from the pcycological side. Many neurobiologists believe that humans through the evolution was formed in the savanas and other green zones, that are registrated by brains as a natural habitat. They argue that the lost conection with this habitat leeds to mental health problems. For instance, scienticts from Yale University conducted a research where they discovered that citisens who spend their weekdays in conection with nature twenty time less suffer from depression than people who are tent to to stay at home. The other argument for having a number of green areas at the city is that it makes people as be more creative as studying and working better. This can be illustrated by the research of the psycologists from the MIT that conveys the connection between nature and cognitive abilities. In their experiment the IQ test was provided to the group of children who was inside a buillng while other group tried to solve same in the park. The results of this experiment are showed that grop from the outside had better scores. Moreover, many inventations was inspired by nature such as ofshore wind blinds and planes. To conclude everything mentioned above, nature is indispansible not only because that connection with nature is extremely important for human mental health but also as it activates creative and intellectual parts of the brain. These particular reasons makes me believe that every city needs parks.
One of the
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important
question in urban development
Did you mean "it"?
is
should we create functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and concrete the
Possible spelling mistake found.
spase
for more buildings or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Possible spelling mistake found.
shold
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
.
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Althugh
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
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green
recreation areas are
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just
waste of the land that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
more compact, I adhere
Did you mean "to believe"?
to belive
that such zones as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
nesessary
in the cities.

One of the main arguments that supports my point of view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pcycological
side.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
neurobiologists
believe that humans through the evolution
was formed
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
savanas
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
zones, that are
Possible spelling mistake found.
registrated
by brains as a natural habitat. They argue that the lost
Possible spelling mistake found.
conection
with this habitat
Possible spelling mistake found.
leeds
to mental health problems.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
scienticts
from Yale University conducted a research where they discovered that
Possible spelling mistake found.
citisens
who spend their weekdays in
Possible spelling mistake found.
conection
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
twenty time less suffer from depression than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are tent
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
stay at home. The other argument for having a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
areas at the city is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as be more creative as studying and working better. This can
be illustrated
by the research of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
psycologists
from the MIT that conveys the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and cognitive abilities. In their experiment the IQ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
was provided
to the group of children who was inside a
Possible spelling mistake found.
buillng
while other group tried to solve same in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. The results of this experiment are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
grop
from the outside had better scores.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
inventations
was inspired
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofshore
wind blinds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
.

To conclude
everything mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispansible
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that connection with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for human mental health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as it activates creative and intellectual parts of the brain. These particular reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me believe that every city needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
.
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IELTS essay the land of parks is wasted and shold be used for other purposes.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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