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Some people believe that it is better to save money than to spend it,while others believe that it is better to live for the moment and spend accordingly

Some people believe that it is better to save money than to spend it, while others believe that it is better to live for the moment and spend accordingly KWPM9
Some people believe that it is better to save money than to spend it, while others believe that it is better to live for the moment and spend accordingly. I strongly agree with the first statement and give some reasons to support my opinion. The first reason why I agree is that in such economic turmoil world we can face difficult situations, challenges and unforeseen emergencies. As we are living in the intensive modern technological age and all things depend on money. If we could save money and learn to spare it on time we would not be dependent to our friends or closes Secondly, all people might have unexpected illnesses. In that case we have to go to the pharmacy to buy medicines and the best drugs are too expensive. If we have problems with our budget we should give a way to enter the illness entirely to our body. Some people think that they are strong enough and any sickness can disturb their lives. They always say “ Live for today not for tomorrow. Do not spare money! ” But unexpected emergencies could arrive any moment. After a few days or months they can have great problems with their health. If they have financial problems, they would not overcome the illness and will suffer from it. Furthermore, almost all human dream of being rich and travel round the world. Travel is also very expensive and not every person can achieve goal without money For this reason we should not waste money for useless and unfruitful things. Then we can attain our aim. Finally, we have to remember the reasons for economic crisis that caused by individuals, corporations or government. I think discipline of saving money should be taught from childhood. In conclusion, may others oppose my opinion, I believe that saving money is beneficial and invaluable skill for the mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is better to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than to spend it, while others believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for the moment and spend
accordingly
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
statement and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to support my opinion.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
is that in such economic turmoil world we can face difficult situations, challenges and unforeseen emergencies. As we are living in the intensive modern technological age and all things depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If we could save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and learn to spare it on time we would not be dependent to our friends or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
closes


Secondly
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might have unexpected illnesses.
In that case
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the pharmacy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
medicines and the best drugs are too expensive.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we have problems with our budget we should give a way to enter the illness
entirely
to our body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and any sickness can disturb their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They always say
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
not for tomorrow. Do not spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
! ”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unexpected emergencies could arrive any moment. After a few days or months they can have great problems with their health. If they have financial problems, they would not overcome the illness and will suffer from it.

Furthermore
, almost all human dream of being rich and travel round the world. Travel is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and not every person can achieve goal without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
we should not waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for useless and unfruitful things. Then we can attain our aim.

Finally
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remember the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for economic crisis that caused by individuals, corporations or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
discipline of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be taught
from childhood.

In conclusion
, may others oppose my opinion, I believe that saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is beneficial and invaluable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for the mankind.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to save money than to spend it, while others believe that it is better to live for the moment and spend accordingly

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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