Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside while others think that life in countryside is more suitable

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside while others think that life in countryside is more suitable doBaE
Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. However, other people think that a big city gives more opportunities and it is good for the long run. Personally, for several reasons I think that it is better for children to grow up in a city that offers numerous advantages. First of all, it is very important for a child to grow up in a healthy environment. Children need fresh air, not polluted by the huge amount of cars and factories of the modern city. In the country, they can spend more time exercising and walking with their friends. Scientists say that now children spend the same amount of time watching TV as they do at school. Probably, the possibility to join their friends for a play will change this proportion. Another important aspect of this is that parents will have more time to spend with their children as a result of eliminating traffic jams and decreasing driving time as a whole. From the other side, children have some advantages living in a big city. For example, they have more opportunities to choose from what they want to do. They can choose to attend ballet school, school of art, gymnastics, etc. For the long run, it is good for them. They will be better prepared for a life in a real world and they will have more changes to make a good career and succeed. Moreover, a big city usually has many entertaining centers with movie theaters and play stations. When I was a child I liked to go to the movie theater with my parents to watch a premiere. One more reason to choose a big city for a child is that a city provides better live conditions and services such as medical, dental, etc. To summarise, I agree with those people who want to raise their children in a city. The plenty of opportunities offered by a city helps children to find what they really like and be the best at it. Moreover, despite the air pollution, children get a better medical service that is good for their health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up in the countryside than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city.
However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city gives more opportunities and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for the long run.
Personally
, for several reasons I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up in a city that offers numerous advantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child to grow up in a healthy environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need fresh air, not polluted by the huge amount of cars and factories of the modern city. In the country, they can spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exercising and walking with their friends. Scientists say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV as they do at school.
Probably
, the possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their friends for a play will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this proportion. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of this is that parents will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as a result
of eliminating traffic jams and decreasing driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as a whole.

From the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city.
For example
, they have more opportunities to choose from what they want to do. They can choose to attend ballet school, school of art, gymnastics, etc. For the long run, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for them. They will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepared for a life in a real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they will have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
career and succeed.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city
usually
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entertaining centers with movie theaters and play stations.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I was a child I liked to go to the movie theater with my parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a premiere.

One more reason to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city for a child is that a city provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
conditions and services such as medical, dental, etc.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a city. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities offered by a city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to find what they
really
like and be the best at it.
Moreover
, despite the air pollution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
medical service
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for their health.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside while others think that life in countryside is more suitable

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    'But in the case of human beings, friendship is a transitory art, subject to discontinuance without further notice. ” What do you think of this statement? Do you think friendship is temporary and interrupted? Write a persuasive 3-paragraph essay on this topic.
    Is friendship permanent or temporary? It is difficult to give a clear answer to the question. Everyone has at least one friend. But understanding that these friendships are permanent or temporary depends on several conditions. These conditions include; the duration, purpose, and personality traits o...
  • 5.5band
    Should we save animals from going extinct?
    Animals have been facing existential threat from humans for centuries and many animal species have already been wiped out. Mass deforestation and global warming can be the main causes animals being pushed out of their habitats. This essay will discuss the reasons why the extinction is happening and ...
  • 6band
    How should we spend our free time?
    Leisure time is considered essential for the smooth functioning of the human body. While some people think that free time should be spent for cognitive activities, while others maintain that it is vital for our minds to have a break from all kinds of activites. We will discuss both sides of views in...
  • 6.5band
    Should we ban cars from our roads?
    Humans have always been fascinated by the new modes of transport whether it be cars or planes. Since the invention of cars in the 19th century, the ownership of cars has been increasing rapidly, especially in the developed countries like Britain. There has been a discussion that there are far too ma...
  • 6.5band
    Should we ban cars and transport from our roads?
    Humans have always been fascinated by the new modes of transport whether it be cars or planes. Since the invention of cars in the 19th century, the ownership of cars has been increasing rapidly, especially in the developed countries like Britain. There has been a discussion that there are far too ma...
  • 6band
    European Civilization or Domination?
    The 19th century stands out as a period in which wars, strokes or revolutions took place and new phenomena emerged, especially in Europe. The wars, problems or chaos European countries have experienced among themselves and with other countries or civilizations have led to the emergence of a real phe...