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Should we save animals from going extinct?

Should we save animals from going extinct? n6Ym2
Animals have been facing existential threat from humans for centuries and many animal species have already been wiped out. Mass deforestation and global warming can be the main causes animals being pushed out of their habitats. This essay will discuss the reasons why the extinction is happening and what can be possibly done to save wild animals from going extinct. Mass deforestation is one of the primary reason for animals being wiped out from their natual habitats, as trees and bushes are the primary habitat for wild animals. To meet the growing demand of food for the ever-growing human population, many large-scale forests have been cleared and transformed into the agriculrure fields and these activities have been going on for centuries. More than 25, 000 hectres of forests have been cleared in the last ten years in Pakistan alone, according to the world animal preservance survey in 2019. Governments around the world should look for scientific ways to improve the productivity of the already available agriculture fields, which will in return decrease the possibilty of trees being removed on a large scale. Another reason for large scale vanishing of wild animals is global warming. Industrial scale exploration of natural resources and use of unsustainable materials are the main sources of global warming on our planet. As the global tempratures are increasing, many species of animals are simply unable to evolve to survive these hostile environments and thus disappearing at a rapid scale. According to a research conducted by the University Of Technology Sydney concluded that more than 50 species of salt and fresh water fishes have been vanished from the face of earth in the last five decades. A shift towards the renewable energy resources and a complete ban of single use plastic bags can be a first step towards the preservance of animals. In conclusion, deforestation and global warming are considered to be the major factors for the extinction of wild animals. I think possible solutions could be better agricultural practices and large scale shift towards the renewables.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
have been facing existential threat from humans for centuries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species have already
been wiped
out. Mass deforestation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
can be the main causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
being pushed
out of their habitats. This essay will discuss the reasons why the extinction is happening and what can be
possibly
done to save wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from going extinct.

Mass deforestation is one of the primary reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
being wiped
out from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
natual
habitats, as trees and bushes are the primary habitat for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the growing demand of food for the ever-growing human population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large-scale forests have
been cleared
and transformed into the
Possible spelling mistake found.
agriculrure
fields and these activities have been going on for centuries. More than 25, 000
Possible spelling mistake found.
hectres
of forests have
been cleared
in the last ten years in Pakistan alone, according to the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake found.
preservance
survey in 2019.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
around the world should look for scientific ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the productivity of the already available agriculture fields, which will in return decrease the
Possible spelling mistake found.
possibilty
of trees
being removed
on a large scale.

Another reason for large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
vanishing of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. Industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
exploration of natural resources and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of unsustainable materials are the main sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
on our planet. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
Possible spelling mistake found.
tempratures
are increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
simply
unable to evolve to survive these hostile environments and
thus
disappearing at a rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
. According to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by the University Of Technology Sydney concluded that more than 50 species of salt and fresh water fishes have
been vanished
from the face of earth in the last five decades. A shift towards the renewable energy resources and a complete ban of single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic bags can be a
first
step towards the
Possible spelling mistake found.
preservance
of animals.

In conclusion
, deforestation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
are considered
to be the major factors for the extinction of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
possible solutions could be better agricultural practices and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
shift towards the renewables.
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IELTS essay Should we save animals from going extinct?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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