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Some people believe that it is best to choose bad situation like unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.Others argue that it is better to try and improve your situation .Disscuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is best to choose bad situation like unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve your situation. Disscuss both views and give your opinion BGwa
It is often argued that a number of people state that it is accept to choose bad situation like unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. And on the other hand some people think that it is better to try and improve situation. I am totally agree with this opinion that we need to improve our situation. First of all I believe that job satisfaction gives you fulfillment and sense of happiness also It gives you Motivation to do your work more seriously. When you are full satisfy with your work ultimately it affects on your life. You feels positivity in your life. For instance, when actor in the film, plays different roles and when his works recognized by awards that is the best moment for him. Secondly, sometimes there is situation when you ought to take unsatisfactory job because of shortage of money, but you need to think positively to improve your situation. If you choose always bad in your life then you cannot grow, cannot be happy in your life. This is waste of time. To improve situation someone needs to develop sort of skills and work hard to get rid of the situation. Take an example of writer Ms. Sudha Murthy, she is English writer, she has more than 250 books published. At initial state she was lived with her parents in village and afraid of talking English but her grandmother motivated her to learn English and now she is one of the top writers in the India. Also she gives speeches for international people. That was the choice she made when she was young. To sum up, it is always up to you, to pick good or bad, and act accordingly on that event.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
state that it is
Consider using a past participle here: "accepted".
accept
to choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
like unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. And
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. I am
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this opinion that we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
our situation.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I believe that job satisfaction gives you fulfillment and sense of happiness
also
It gives you Motivation to do your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
seriously
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
you are full satisfy with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ultimately
it affects on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "feel".
feels
positivity in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, when actor in the film, plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
roles and when his works recognized by awards
that is
the best moment for him.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
when you ought to take unsatisfactory job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of shortage of money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. If you
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'choose'.
choose always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
then you cannot grow, cannot be happy in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This is waste of time.

To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
someone needs to develop sort of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. Take an example of writer Ms.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sudha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Murthy
, she
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a English" or "is an English"
is English
writer, she has more than 250 books published. At initial state she was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with her parents in village and afraid of talking English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her grandmother motivated her to learn English and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
she is one of the top writers in the India.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
she gives speeches for international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. That was the choice she made when she was young.

To sum up, it is always up to you, to pick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, and act
accordingly
on that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to choose bad situation like unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve your situation. Disscuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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