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"Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion".

"Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. m1bl1
In life, nothing ever happens exactly how we envision it. From time to time, we are faced with an unpleasant situation, wondering to ourselves, “should I attempt to better my surroundings or settle for what they are? ”. To this question, some people would agree with the latter whilst others, as myself, would defend the former. In spite of believing in always improving our current condition as people, I do understand voices that prefer to not stir the waters and venture into the unknown. If we encounter ourselves in a situation that is not ideal, we can inadvertently worsen it. For instance, if a person is short on money and attempts to earn more by betting on a horse race and comes last, he will not only have lost his money but may become in debt as well. At that time, imagining scenarios such as “If I had not bet my savings, I would still have them” would be futile as well as in vain. Nonetheless, considering an alternative perspective, I concur that it is imperative to thrive for more. Bumps on the road will surely appear nevertheless, persistence is key. For this reason, I am a firm believer that the more you risk, the more you can accomplish. I draw this reasoning from a friend’s real-life example. She has worked at a firm for approximately three years. During the first two, she perceived her earnings did not mirror her efforts. In that, when the time came to discuss further employment, she presented her superiors an ultimatum, either they would increase her salary, or she would take another position elsewhere. She endangered her job nevertheless; it was worthwhile as they agreed to her proposition. Through understanding her worth and speaking for herself, my friend ended up with a better deal. Had she not, she could still be in a lower-paying position. To conclude, despite understanding the comfortable argument of contenting oneself with nefarious circumstances, I am of the opinion that accomplishing always more ought to be the more beneficial approach, perils included. Life is a race, and we can run it in a steady-pace and reach second place or aim for a final sprint and go for number one.
In life, nothing ever happens exactly how we envision it. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, we
are faced
with an unpleasant situation, wondering to ourselves, “should I attempt to better my surroundings or settle for what they are? ”. To this question,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter whilst others, as myself, would defend the former.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
believing in always improving our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
condition as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, I do understand voices that prefer to not stir the waters and venture into the unknown. If we encounter ourselves in a situation
that is
not ideal, we can
inadvertently
worsen it.
For instance
, if a person is short on money and attempts to earn more by betting on a horse race and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
last, he will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have lost his money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may become in debt
as well
.

At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, imagining scenarios such as “If I had not bet my savings, I would
still
have them” would be futile
as well
as in vain.

Nonetheless, considering an alternative perspective, I concur that it is imperative to thrive for more. Bumps on the road will
surely
appear
nevertheless
, persistence is key.
For this reason
, I am a firm believer that the more you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, the more you can accomplish. I draw this reasoning from a friend’s real-life example. She has worked at a firm for approximately three years. During the
first
two, she perceived her earnings did not mirror her efforts. In that, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
came to discuss
further
employment, she presented her superiors an ultimatum, either they would increase her salary, or she would take another position elsewhere. She endangered her job
nevertheless
; it was worthwhile as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to her proposition. Through understanding her worth and speaking for herself, my friend ended up with a better deal. Had she not, she could
still
be in a lower-paying position.

To conclude
, despite understanding the comfortable argument of contenting oneself with nefarious circumstances, I am of the opinion that accomplishing always more ought to be the more beneficial approach, perils included.

Life is a race, and we can run it in a steady-pace and reach second place or aim for a final sprint and go for number one.
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IELTS essay "Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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