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In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes? 3aYPw
Criminals are a threat to our society and it is a matter of concern that the crime rate has increased dramatically in many countries. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons behind this and propose solutions to combat the problem. First of all, the main reason behind the surge in crime is poverty as most of the people in developing countries are daily wagers, and they have to struggle everyday for their bread. Therefore, out of hunger, some people start committing petty thefts at shops and cars, and over time some of them become gangsters. A study conducted by a University in Denmark revealed that the children growing up in poverty are seven times more likely to be involved in violent crimes when they become young adults. Another cause is the over-ambitious nature of some individuals. These individuals keep an eye on others’ wealth, and sometimes they become so desperate that they start blackmailing rich people, and even kidnap their closed ones for ransom. To tackle this problem, the first and foremost step is to enforce law and order. In other words, the government should impose strict rules and regulations by recruiting incorruptible law enforcement authorities especially in criminal zones to turn them into safer region. For example, the US has a crime-rate of only 2% as compared to Somalia, whose crime-rate is 50% due to strict implementation of rules by the former. Secondly, the authorities should expand employment opportunities for the poor so that every individual could at least earn their living and live their life in a better way. Consequently, the poor would not be compelled to do misdeeds to fulfill their basic necessities. In conclusion, although the problem of crime is not insurmountable, I believe that it is the government’s responsibility to solve these issues, and they should begin by considering some of the solutions proposed above.
Criminals are a threat to our society and it is a matter of concern that the
crime
rate has increased
dramatically
in
many
countries. In this essay, I will discuss
some of the
reasons behind this and propose solutions to combat the problem.

First of all
, the main reason behind the surge in
crime
is poverty as most of the
people
in
developing countries
are daily wagers, and they
have to
struggle
everyday
for their bread.
Therefore
, out of hunger,
some
people
start
committing petty thefts at shops and cars, and over time
some
of them become gangsters. A study conducted by a University in Denmark revealed that the children growing up in poverty are seven times more likely to
be involved
in violent
crimes
when they become young adults. Another cause is the over-ambitious nature of
some
individuals. These individuals
keep
an eye on others’ wealth, and
sometimes
they become
so
desperate that they
start
blackmailing rich
people
, and even kidnap their closed ones for ransom.

To tackle this problem, the
first
and foremost step is to enforce law and order.
In other words
, the
government
should impose strict
rules
and regulations by recruiting incorruptible law enforcement authorities
especially
in criminal zones to turn them into safer region.
For example
, the US has a crime-rate of
only
2% as compared to Somalia, whose crime-rate is 50% due to strict implementation of
rules
by the former.
Secondly
, the authorities should expand employment opportunities for the poor
so
that every individual could at least earn their living and
live
their life in a better way.
Consequently
, the poor would not
be compelled
to do misdeeds to fulfill their
basic necessities
.

In conclusion
, although the problem of
crime
is not insurmountable, I believe that it is the
government
’s responsibility to solve these issues, and they should
begin
by considering
some of the
solutions proposed above.
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IELTS essay In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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