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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. lPWo
Albeit several people think that accepting a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, is the best choice for us, but in my opinion, it can be better if people try to improve this situation like gaining scholarship to get good education. People, who only accept their bad conditions, will become unemployment and unproductive person. This is to say, they tend to have less motivation to continue their life. For instance, in 2010, the research of the Indonesia's Ministry of Social Affairs revealed that 50% poor communities in Jakarta admitted admitted that they could only surrender to their situations and asked for subsidies from the government every year. Consequently, if these cases still continue, an increase in the poverty rate will occur and become a problem in the future. The best way that people can do is trying to gain scholarship to get a good education. This is because with good education, people can have more skills and knowledge to face real life, resulting in getting an education certificate to get a better job in the future. To illustrate, mr. Iman, a LPDP scholarship recipient from poor family, became a successful scientist in the marine sector. He said if he did not try to reach this scholarship and accepted his condition in the past, his life would still be in the same situatin which is in poverty. This results in trying to improve people own skills like getting a scholarship is the best way people can do to obtain a better life in the future. To sum up, if people just accept against a bad situation, it will not change the situation, causing them to live in poverty. By contrast, people, who try to gain some scholarships and get it, tend to get good education and have more skill to face a real life in the future.
Albeit several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that accepting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, is the best choice for us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, it can be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
like gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accept their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions, will become unemployment and unproductive person. This is to say, they tend to have less motivation to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, in 2010, the research of the Indonesia's Ministry of Social Affairs revealed that 50% poor communities in Jakarta
Possible typo: you repeated a word
admitted admitted
that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
surrender to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
subsidies from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
every year.
Consequently
, if these cases
still
continue, an increase in the poverty rate will occur and become a problem in the future.

The best way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do is trying to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge to face real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, resulting in getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
certificate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better job in the future. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mr
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iman
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
LPDP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
recipient from poor family, became a successful scientist in the marine sector. He said if he did not try to reach this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
his condition in the past, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would
still
be in the same
Possible spelling mistake found.
situatin
which is in poverty. This results in trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
is the best way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do to obtain a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.

To sum up, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accept against a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, causing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poverty. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who try to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarships
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to face a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.
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IELTS essay some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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