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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. N0Vj
Shopping malls are places where people can go to buy something and spend time for entertainment. Some people say that in the upcoming years, many people will go to shopping centers to visit recreational areas. I generally agree with this idea and think that people will go to shopping centers to have fun. Some people will go to shopping centers to spend time on recreational areas because there will be several facilities, such as gym, the movies, and amusement parks at one place. Shopping centers will be convenient for family members because all members can spend time together. For instance, four-year-old children can have fun in amusement parks, and teenagers can see some movies at the movies, and adults also can work out in the gym. In addition, some people do not have enough money due to financial condition. These people that have less money will go window shopping to spend time together, but may not be able to buy anything. On the other hand, some people believe that shopping malls will be designed to buy something that they need, and also, they think shopping centers may have recreational facilities, but it is not so good to spend time on them, because they believe that some shopping centers are not designed specially to have entertainment. In conclusion, in my opinion, although some people may still go to shopping centers to purchase something, most people believe that shopping malls will be suitable for entertainment, because they will have less money and shopping centers will have several facilities for all tastes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
malls are places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that in the upcoming years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
to visit recreational areas. I
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
to have fun.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on recreational areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be several facilities, such as gym, the movies, and amusement parks at one place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
will be convenient for family members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all

members can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together.
For instance
, four-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
children can have fun in amusement parks, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
movies at the movies, and adults
also
can work out in the gym.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money due to financial condition. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have less money will go window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls will
be designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something that they need, and
also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
may have recreational facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are not designed
specially
to have entertainment.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
still
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
something, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls will be suitable for entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will have less money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
will have several facilities for all tastes.
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IELTS essay In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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