Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. PVMkp
Some people are sure that ignoring unsatisfactory jobs for lack of money is the best way. Other people argue that denying such situations is not the solving those problems. I am in opinion, that trying to improve unsatisfactory is better. On the one hand, employees, who accept unpleasant circumstances, are losers forever. This type of people agree with their fate because of religious, upbringing or experience of parents. For example, there are parents, who ensure children that god gives all wanted only after suffering, and ropey job is an example. The another example is acting of parents or adults in general. Young generation observes that adults live in such habitat and take for granted As a result, they think it is normal to live like those and continuous to work the same year by year, that can lead to depression or mental or physical diseases. On the other hand, people, who are not going to obey external factors, become rich and happy. They know what they want, what they can do and know the price, which they are deserve. For instance, my friend had a job where he earned small wage but he was sure that it is the starting and he are able to earn more. So he became a wealthy businessman. The main idea is believing in ourself and knowing one's own worth. In conclusion, frustration about salary or working conditions is not way out. I believe that opposition to poor working environment is better than embracing own destiny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sure that ignoring unsatisfactory jobs for lack of money is the best way. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that denying such situations is not the solving those problems. I am in opinion, that trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
unsatisfactory is better.

On the one hand, employees, who accept unpleasant circumstances, are losers forever. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with their fate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of religious, upbringing or experience of parents.
For example
, there are parents, who ensure children that god gives all wanted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after suffering, and ropey job is an example. The another example is acting of parents or adults
in general
. Young generation observes that adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such habitat and take for granted
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is normal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like those and continuous to work the same year by year, that can lead to depression or mental or physical diseases.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are not going to obey external factors, become rich and happy. They know what they want, what they can do and know the price, which they are
Consider using a past participle here: "deserved".
deserve
.
For instance
, my friend had a job where he earned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
wage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was sure that it is the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
starting and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
able to earn more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he became a wealthy businessman. The main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is believing
in
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
and knowing one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
worth.

In conclusion
, frustration about salary or working conditions is not way out. I believe that opposition to poor working environment is better than embracing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
destiny
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.