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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations ExOD
Some people takes up the job and money, which doesn’t make them satisfied and any point because people fear that, taking risks to improve their current situation leads to further problems. Example, people of a village had a vintage bridge, which was not in a good condition and on the same time, the government was trying to help them by building a new one, if the bridge is allowed to be demolished. But the people didn’t have the faith on government’s new project and didn’t allow them to do the work and gradually the project was declined by the government officials. This example clearly depicts the importance of making a good decisions at correct time and situation. Also when a person feels that “its enough”, then it’s a tough job to make him improve. It is also not necessary to find out all the answers for every situation around us, since it consumes more time and waste of resources. The hard work with smart work is the only way to achieve improvisation with success in short span of time, while it is clear foolishness to wait for good things to happen on its own without any efforts made. In conclusion, I suggest the people to improve in a continuous manner, so that the people will stop blaming the faith and have a better life with plenty of options before them and make the life even more happier. Recent surveys also denotes that people are not willing to take risks, because of the fear of losing the current job and making the situation even worse. But the truth is, a planned and organized change makes only success in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
takes
up the job and money, which doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them satisfied and any point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fear that, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation leads to
further
problems. Example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a village had a vintage bridge, which was not in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition and on the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by building a new one, if the bridge is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
be demolished
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn’t have the faith on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s new project and didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to do the work and
gradually
the project
was declined
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials. This example
clearly
depicts the importance of making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions at correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and situation.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
when a person feels that “its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
”, then it’s a tough job to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. It is
also
not necessary to find out all the answers for every situation around us, since it consumes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and waste of resources. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work with smart work is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to achieve improvisation with success in short span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, while it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
foolishness to wait for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things to happen on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
without any efforts made.

In conclusion
, I suggest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Consider replacing "in a continuous manner" with the adverb for "continuous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a continuous manner
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
blaming the faith and have a better life with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of options
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the life even
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
. Recent surveys
also
denotes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not willing to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fear of losing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job and making the situation even worse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the truth is, a planned and organized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
success in life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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