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some people believe that increasing population is awful. give your opinion.

some people believe that increasing population is awful. give your opinion. BJgkV
The rising of the global population is undoubtly one of the greatest problem ever happened, if not the greatest and it seems to be a serious threath for the humanity. In my opinion there are several factors that have contribuited to this event, linked each other in this globalized era. First of all, nowadays our life last more than ever, due to the improvement made by the medicine, so everyone could theorically expect to live 20 years more than 50 years ago. A lot of ills which in the recent past couldn’t be cured, like HIV, can now be faced and sometimes defeated. Moreover, another huge reason is that poor countries started to develope their economies so the numbers of their citizens grew up constantly and fastly, like is happened in India or in China, the most crowded countries in the world indeed. Recently China adopted the “only child rule” in order to slow down the increasing trend of the population, but nothing has significatly changed The problem whit this growth is that our sources are limited and probably the planet can’t support such a large amount of people, in addition considering that we were 5 billions only the last century and now we have reached 7 billions, we should be also worried by the quickness of this process that is arguably unstoppable. To be honest I don’t know how we can manage this situation that could get worst in the next future. According to some research made by scientist when we will be more than 8 billions, and this could happen in the next 30 years, the humanity could face a new global war because some large countries couldn’t be able to supply food and water to their citizens, so it’s better to take seriously this problem and begin to handle it otherwise it will not granted to deal whiti t in a pacific way.
The rising of the global population is
undoubtly
one of the greatest problem ever happened, if not the greatest and it seems to be a serious
threath
for the humanity.

In my opinion there are several factors that have
contribuited
to this
event
, linked each other in this globalized era.

First of all
, nowadays our life last more than ever, due to the improvement made by the medicine,
so
everyone could
theorically
expect
to
live
20 years more than 50 years ago.

A lot of
ills which in the recent past couldn’t
be cured
, like HIV, can
now
be faced
and
sometimes
defeated.

Moreover
, another huge reason is that poor countries
started
to
develope
their economies
so
the numbers of their citizens grew up
constantly
and
fastly
, like
is happened
in India or in China, the most crowded countries in the world
indeed
.

Recently China adopted the “
only
child
rule
” in order to slow down the increasing trend of the population,
but
nothing has
significatly
changed


The problem whit this growth is that our sources
are limited
and
probably
the planet can’t support such a large amount of
people
,
in addition
considering that we were 5 billions
only
the last century and
now
we have reached 7 billions, we should be
also
worried by the quickness of this process
that is
arguably
unstoppable.

To be honest I don’t know how we can manage this situation that could
get
worst in the
next
future. According to
some
research made by scientist when we will be more than 8 billions, and this could happen in the
next
30 years, the humanity could face a new global war
because
some
large countries couldn’t be able to supply food and water to their citizens,
so
it’s better to take
seriously
this problem and
begin
to handle it
otherwise
it will not
granted
to deal
whiti
t in a pacific way.
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IELTS essay some people believe that increasing population is awful. give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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