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Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work. 7aLeb
Working from an early age has been a debatable subject over time. While some people consider that young people should start working as soon as possible, others think the opposite. This essay will discuss both views and will share the author’s personal opinion about it. To begin with, teenagers having part-time jobs have been a common practice since ancient times. These jobs usually are for a shorter period of time, according to youngster’s possibilities and have a significant role in their development. Moreover, the sense of reward for their work gives them self-confidence and motivation to learn and improve their skills. For example, if a teenager starts working in a company during his/her studies, he/she will be motivated to learn more in order to be promoted in that company and to be better paid for his work. So, working from an early age could have many benefits for young people. On the other hand, some people consider that teenagers should not work at all. They claim that at an early age a child should focus on education rather then work. In addition, there are many situations when the work becomes an abuse and children cannot protect themselves against their rulers. For example, in the poor countries, they are doing a lot of physical work that overweigh their capabilities and, at the same time, they have no time for education. Therefore, they should not work, but focus on their education and their growth. In conclusion, working from an early age is a questionable subject with different perspectives. While some people encourage part-time work as a tool for young people's development, others are against it, thinking about the drawbacks like abusing, lacking of time for education and so on. In my opinion, education should be the first priority at this age, but some part-time jobs, during holidays for example, could be extremely helpful for young people. These temporary jobs could give them a sense of reality and make them realize what and why it is important to study at school.
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from an
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early
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age
has been a debatable subject over
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time
. While
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some
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people
consider that
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young
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people
should
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start
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working
as
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soon
as possible, others
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think
the opposite. This essay will discuss both views and will share the author’s personal opinion about it.

To
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begin
with,
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teenagers
having part-time
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jobs
have been a common practice since ancient
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times
. These
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jobs
The adverb 'usually' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
usually are
for a shorter period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, according to youngster’s possibilities and have a significant role in their development.
Moreover
, the sense of reward for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
gives them self-confidence and motivation to learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, if a
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teenager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
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working
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
during his/her studies, he/she will
be motivated
to learn more in order to
be promoted
in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and to be better paid for his
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work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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working
from an
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early
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age
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
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some
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people
consider that
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teenagers
should not
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work
at all. They claim that at an
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early
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age
a child should focus on
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education
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
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work
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
becomes an abuse and children cannot protect themselves against their rulers.
For example
, in the poor countries, they are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical
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work
that
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overweigh their
capabilities and, at the same
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time
, they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
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education
.
Therefore
, they should not
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work
,
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but
focus on their
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education
and their growth.

In conclusion
,
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working
from an
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early
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age
is a questionable subject with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. While
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some
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people
encourage part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's development, others are against it, thinking about the drawbacks like abusing, lacking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
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education
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In my opinion,
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education
should be the
first
priority at this
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age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, during holidays
for example
, could be
extremely
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
could give them a sense of reality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize what and why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to study at school.
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IELTS essay Some people think it s good for teenagers to have part time jobs, while other people believe teenagers should not work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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