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It Has Been Claimed That Workers Over 50 Are Not Responsive To Rapidly Changing Ideas In The Modern Workplace v.4

Elder workforce is advantageous for the firm. The main reason for this is the amount of knowledge and experience gained by these employees in their job tenure. But one the other hand, freshers play a significant role in the growth of workplace. These undeveloped bodies are fresh to the market and, thereby, are flexible enough to adapt the changes within the work. In addition to this, these forces are always eager and willing to learn and therefore, bring new ideas and perspectives to the workplace. However, older workers have a wide range of other positive attributes that they can bring to their working environment. Generally, they have more work experience than those who are younger. Moreover, old age people who are very determined towards their work. These people also get along prolific experience with them which, sets them apart. They can use their experience to analyze new ideas and make wise decisions which could potentially benefit the company that they are working for. Another advantage that old age workforce have is, the leadership quality in them. These leadership quality of these people could be conducive to drive the young force in the direction All in all, I reckon that, old age people are surely responsive and open to new idea. Their experience and other quality attributes could be used in combination with young generation characterstics to facilitate the success of their respective employer.
Elder workforce is advantageous for the firm. The main reason for this is the amount of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
gained by these employees in their job tenure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean “on”?
one
the other hand, freshers play a significant role in the growth of workplace. These undeveloped bodies are fresh to the market and, thereby, are flexible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to adapt the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
within the work.
In addition
to this, these forces are always eager and willing to learn and
therefore
, bring new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and perspectives to the workplace.
However
, older workers have a wide range of other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attributes that they can bring to their working environment.
Generally
, they have more work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than those who are younger.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
determined towards their work. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along prolific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with them which, sets them apart. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to analyze new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wise decisions which could
potentially
benefit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that they are working for. Another advantage that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age workforce have is, the leadership quality in them.
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘leadership’. Did you mean “this leadership” or “These leaderships”?
These leadership
quality of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be conducive to drive the young force in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
direction


All in all, I reckon that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
surely
responsive and open to new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and other quality attributes could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in combination with young generation
Possible spelling mistake found.
characterstics
to facilitate the success of their respective employer.
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IELTS essay It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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