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Some people believe that if police force carries gun, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that if police force carries gun, it can encourage a higher level of violence. LAln
Nowadays, the crime rate is boomingly increasing owing to this it is believed that policemen should equipped with guns for enforcement of law and order. However, it leads to surge in the level of violence. I totally disagree with this statement and reasons behind my inclination are articulated in the trailed paragraphs. To embark with, police force are equipped with gun that will provide more security to the civilians consequently crime is increasing at alarming rate. Day by day, the level of criminal activities are advancing this fire guns must be provided to the police force however, firing the gun is a sensible decision and they are intelligent enough to take decision whether to fire or not. Except to tackle with criminals or terrorists, they should not regardlessly operate it. This will not spread any kind of violence among the people rather it will provide surety at their safety. Paradoxically, when firearms are not being carried by policemen, it will encourage the criminals to do more crime consequently they will not be afraid anymore. It will surge the crime ratio by extreme level. Moreover, the use of guns by offenders will raise the level of violence in the community. Therefore, team will instill in the mind of every individuals. However, criminals will always carry guns whether the armed force carry or not. To conclude, guns must be carried by the police force, despite raising the violence, surety of safety will be provided by it to the community.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
Possible spelling mistake found.
boomingly
increasing owing to this it
is believed
that policemen should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "equip"
equipped
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
for enforcement of law and order.
However
, it leads to surge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. I
totally
disagree with this statement and reasons behind my inclination
are articulated
in the trailed paragraphs.

To embark with, police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
are equipped
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
that will provide more security to the civilians
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is increasing at alarming rate. Day by day, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities are advancing this fire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
to the police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
however
, firing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
is a sensible
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decision and
they are intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take decision whether to fire or not. Except to tackle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
or terrorists, they should not
Possible spelling mistake found.
regardlessly
operate it. This will not spread any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
it will provide surety at their safety.

Paradoxically
, when firearms are not
being carried
by policemen, it will encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
consequently
they will not be afraid anymore. It will surge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio by extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
by offenders will raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the community.
Therefore
, team will instill in the mind of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "individual"?
individuals
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will always carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
whether the armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
carry or not.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be carried
by the police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, despite raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, surety of safety will
be provided
by it to the community.

IELTS essay Some people believe that if police force carries gun, it can encourage a higher level of violence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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