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According to a survey people involved in certain occupations and professions and seen to be honest. What is the situation in your country ?why?

According to a survey people involved in certain occupations and professions and seen to be honest. What is the situation in your country? why? wLa3
Honesty is the core component for success. I think is true that honesty is mandatory for some professions and occupations, but still we can see lot of people not following this rule. To begin, In medical profession honesty is very important, because doctors need to tell correct diagnosis to their patients or their family members. Otherwise it is harm for that patient. However, we can see some doctors are telling lie and forcing their patients to do more investigations unnecessary for their business. Another profession is that journalist, they have to go behind the fact otherwise lot of impact they need to face. Nowadays, some people who all are working in offices, certain circumstances they forced to tell lie for their good position and suvority of the job. In same like lawyers also, they need to tell in some situations for their candidates safety. So like some situations we can not avoid in some profession. Sometimes the motive is good, in that stage we ca not blame that concern person also. To conclude, I belive that in my country many of them telling lie for the purpose, though we can see real business people in all profession too.
Honesty is the core component for success. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is true that honesty is mandatory for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
and occupations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not following this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, In medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
honesty is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doctors need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
correct diagnosis to their patients or their family members.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
it is harm for that patient.
However
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
doctors are telling lie and forcing their patients to do more investigations unnecessary for their business. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
is that journalist, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go behind the fact
otherwise
lot of impact they need to face. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who all are working in offices, certain circumstances they forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
lie for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position and
Possible spelling mistake found.
suvority
of the job. In same like lawyers
also
, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations for their candidates safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations we can not avoid in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the motive is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, in that stage we
Possible typo. Did you mean "can"?
ca
not blame that concern person
also
.
To conclude
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that in my country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them telling lie for the purpose, though we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
real business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
too.

IELTS essay According to a survey people involved in certain occupations and professions and seen to be honest. What is the situation in your country? why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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