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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? VAQJ
It is crystal clear that, in many nations, the percentage of senior people is dramatically increasing. Although there are some positives of increasing senior citizens, the negatives of it are far hirgher. In following paragraphs, I will elaborate props and cons of increasing people in the society. On the one hand, increasing older people are having a detrimental effects on the country's economy. Economy pressure can be improved in country, if older people increase in any country. To explain further, if the growth of retirees rise in the country, than the country's government have to improve budget for their older people. For example, according to a recent article in Times of India, Indian government has to enhance almost 2% budget of their whole earning on pensioner, because the percentage of older people have increased in India. Moreover, the government has to not only develop more hospitals and retirement houses for their Senior citizens, but also increase employees to operate them. As a result, more money expenditure to improve quality of retiree's life. Hence, other groups of age would not able to get benefits of subsidies. Furthermore, the government can not spend more money on infrastructure, army and education. Which are significant impact on country's development. On the other hand, the increasing number of older people in a nation shows some positive aspects too. First and foremost, senior citizens have enormous experience and knowledge. If older people do work as a teacher, than they can teach deeply to children in schools. Secondly, grandparents provide excellent company to kids. To elaborate more, some children's parents work for a organization. Therefore, they can not give attention on their children. In this type of situation grandparents teach some social worker and skills by which children may earn more reputation in society. In addition, it can help them to be successful in life. To exemplify, many children learn code of ethics from their grandparents. As a conferences, they can become great human being. Agglomerating all above mention points, the government have to spend more money toward pensioner. However we should not underestimate that, they can provide crucial role to develop children's mighgnd.
It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
dramatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens, the negatives of it are far
Possible spelling mistake found.
hirgher
. In following paragraphs, I will elaborate props and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having a detrimental effects on the country's economy. Economy pressure can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in country, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase in any country. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
, if the growth of retirees rise in the country, than the country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
budget for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, according to a recent article in Times of India, Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
enhance almost 2% budget of their whole earning on pensioner,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have increased in India.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop more hospitals and retirement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Senior
citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase employees to operate them.
As a result
, more money expenditure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of retiree's life.
Hence
, other groups of age would not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits of subsidies.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can not spend more money on infrastructure, army and education.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
are significant impact on country's development.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects too.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens have enormous experience and knowledge. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do work as a teacher, than they can teach
deeply
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in schools.
Secondly
, grandparents provide excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to kids. To elaborate more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children's parents work for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
organization.
Therefore
, they can not give attention on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In this type of situation grandparents teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social worker and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may earn more reputation in society.
In addition
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be successful in life. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn code of ethics from their grandparents. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a conference" or simply "conferences"?
a conferences
, they can become great human being.

Agglomerating all above mention points, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more money toward pensioner.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we should not underestimate that, they can provide crucial role to develop children's
Possible spelling mistake found.
mighgnd
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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