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Some people believe that hard work are required to achieve a goal while other believe that getting anew hobby to be enjoyable. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that hard work are required to achieve a goal while other believe that getting anew hobby to be enjoyable. In what extent YLwbK
It is incontrovertible to assert that diligent determinations are required to achieve a specific goal. Although many individual feel that acquiring or learning a new hobby to be made enjoyable, it requires an effort to obtain. However, I am accord with the statement that for getting skilful in the domain, one must have to be goal oriented and emphasised by learning and arduous toward it. Therefore, I agree with the above statement. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my viewpoints. To embark upon, making recreation embellishing, the individuals have to perform his or her hobby as a passion since it diverts to perform in a competitive manner that tends to be successful in a specific domain. It also cultivates the mastery in the skill if we rigorously motivate towards it and perform compellingly. It is considered that the hobbies comes from within and bestowing the shape, it makes a person perfect in a specific field and therefore, makes them successful in their life. Swimming, Exepli Gratia, can be considered as an optimum hobby for any individual if it is taken as a profession and brush-up the skill leads to victory in the respective field. Thus, with the support of the technique and apply to learn to it make it enjoyable. In addition to that, hard work is also an indispensable factor play a significant role to make recreation perfect as with the aid of this; hobbies can be made as a profession that leads to popularity everywhere. For instance, if an individual put it 100 per cent to his hobbies with complete dedication and effort, he will be successful in all aspects of life. On the contrary, if it is considered as the only hobby without any hard work or training, then it would not be a dedicated effort and might be a probability that it can be left at the latter stage hence always apply dedication on the top of it to make it as a profession. In conclusion, without meticulous effort, the amusement may be considered as an enjoyment only, but not complete dedication; however, if the effort, new techniques to learn the skill and dedication are applied it makes the recreation amusable.
It is incontrovertible to assert that diligent determinations
are required
to achieve a specific goal. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
feel that acquiring or learning a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
to
be made
enjoyable, it requires an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
to obtain.
However
, I am accord with the statement that for getting
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
in the domain, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be goal oriented and
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasised' is British English.
emphasised
by learning and arduous toward it.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my viewpoints.

To embark upon, making recreation embellishing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
as a passion since it diverts to perform
Consider replacing "in a competitive manner" with the adverb for "competitive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a competitive manner
that tends to be successful in a specific domain. It
also
cultivates the mastery in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
if we
rigorously
motivate towards it and perform
compellingly
.

It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from within and bestowing the shape, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a person perfect in a specific field and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them successful in their life. Swimming,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Exepli
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gratia
, can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
as an optimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
if it
is taken
as a profession and brush-up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
leads to victory in the respective field.
Thus
, with the support of the technique and apply to learn to it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it enjoyable.

In addition
to that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is
also
an indispensable factor play a significant role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
recreation perfect as with the aid of this;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can
be made
as a profession that leads to popularity everywhere.
For instance
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
put it 100 per cent to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
with complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dedication
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
, he will be successful in all aspects of life.
On the contrary
, if it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work or training, then it would not be a dedicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
and might be a probability that it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
at the latter stage
hence
always apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dedication
on the top of it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it as a profession.

In conclusion
, without meticulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
, the amusement may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
as an enjoyment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dedication
;
however
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
, new techniques to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dedication
are applied
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the recreation
Possible spelling mistake found.
amusable
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that hard work are required to achieve a goal while other believe that getting anew hobby to be enjoyable. In what extent

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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