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Some people believe that governments should not provide international aid when they have unemployment and homelessness in their country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued by some individuals that government aid should be provided to people with creative skill sets, like musicians, film stars, and painters. I disagree with the above notion and believe that every artist with a creative mind-set possesses the adequate capability to earn money and there are already several options for artists to show their talent to the world and become famous. Nowadays, it is not a difficult task for creative people to earn money as there are plenty of opportunities for these people to flourish and connect with people. Since the introduction of social media and different networking sites, artists can easily reach people and show their talent. This results in earning enormous money through an increasing number of viewers and paid advertisements. Many musicians, for instance, post their videos and songs on networking sites, like Facebook, YouTube and earn a vast sum of money from viewership and commercials. Such platforms give an opportunity for artists to commence their professional careers and succeed in their lives; therefore monetary benefits from the administration are not essential for creative people. However, there should be initiatives by the government authority to help people to pursue their career in these fields, in other words, art and craft education should be easily accessible to people with substantially low cost so that maximum people would get an opportunity to join these educational programs and pursue art as their career. Not only will this allow people from rural parts of the country to enhance their skills but also to initiate their professional careers. For example, the Indian government has recently taken such an initiative by opening the second film city of the country in the northern state, Uttar Pradesh, this allows youth to gain artistic skills by staying near to their home. To conclude, some people believe that monetary aid should be provided to artists by state agencies to support them in their professional careers. I completely disagree with this statement and believe that in today's generation, people with creative minds have enough opportunities to easily bring their talent to people and earn enormous money. However, the people in authority should provide educational and skill enhancement support to people who want to pursue their career in the field of art and craft.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
aid should
be provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets, like musicians, film stars, and painters. I disagree with the above notion and believe that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
mind-set possesses the adequate capability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and there are already several options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent to the world and become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

Nowadays, it is not a difficult task for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to flourish and connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Since the introduction of social media and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
networking sites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can
easily
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent. This results in earning enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
through an increasing number of viewers and paid advertisements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
musicians,
for instance
, post their videos and songs on networking sites, like Facebook, YouTube and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a vast sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from viewership and commercials. Such platforms give an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to commence their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and succeed in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
;
therefore
monetary benefits from the administration are not essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, there should be initiatives by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in these fields,
in other words
, art and craft education should be
easily
accessible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
substantially
low cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
these educational programs and pursue art as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural parts of the country to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to initiate their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.
For example
, the Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has recently taken such an initiative by opening the second film city of the country in the northern state, Uttar Pradesh, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
youth to gain artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by staying near to their home.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that monetary aid should
be provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
by state agencies to support them in their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. I completely disagree with this statement and believe that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
minds have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to
easily
bring their talent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in authority should provide educational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
enhancement support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in the field of art and craft.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that governments should not provide international aid when they have unemployment and homelessness in their country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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