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Some people think that it is necessary to save money for life after retirement To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many today have come to the conclusion that retired seniors should be supported by the government and not left to their own meagre resources. While I agree there are certain cases where governments are liable, citizens ought to be incentivized to handle their own finances. The main reason many support a government-backed retirement plan is the dire condition of many seniors. There are a number of possible causes deserving due attention. Some seniors are without family, others may be war veterans and have trouble finding work due to physical or psychological impairments, and still, others may be victims of economic downturns. Without support, they must fall on the mercy of society and will wind up at soup kitchens and seeking out chronic charity or even begging. Simply put, governments are their last refuge and in the best position to lend a helping hand. Despite the rare instances mentioned above, nations ought to encourage ownership of one’s own future. If all citizens knew the government would provide a decent retirement fund for them, they would have little incentive to work hard, save money and make wise investments. Governments deal with large sample sizes and, granted this would not happen with many responsible adults, it still poses a sizeable national risk. An analogous example of this is the way parents raise their children. They provide for them early on, much like how governments offer free schooling, but then children are expected to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. Parents that coddle their children for too long end up spoiling them in the same way that a national retirement fund would deprive individuals of the opportunity to become self-reliant. In conclusion, the advantages of a more self-assured, mature citizenry outweigh the odd unavoidable case of desperation. There should be a degree of balance to allow for these exceptions while still nurturing more life-affirming values.
Many
today
have
come
to the conclusion that retired seniors should
be supported
by the
government
and not
left
to their
own
meagre
resources. While I
agree
there are certain cases where
governments
are liable, citizens ought to
be incentivized
to handle their
own
finances.

The main reason
many support
a
government
-backed retirement plan is the dire condition of
many
seniors. There are a number of possible causes deserving due attention.
Some
seniors are without family, others may be war veterans and have trouble finding work due to physical or psychological impairments, and
still
, others may be victims of economic downturns. Without support, they
must
fall on the mercy of society and will wind up at soup kitchens and seeking out chronic charity or even begging.
Simply
put,
governments
are their last refuge and in the best position to lend a helping hand.

Despite the rare instances mentioned above, nations ought to encourage ownership of one’s
own
future. If all citizens knew the
government
would provide a decent retirement fund for them, they would have
little
incentive to work
hard
, save money and
make
wise investments.
Governments
deal with large sample sizes and, granted this would not happen with
many
responsible adults, it
still
poses a sizeable national
risk
. An analogous example of this is the way parents raise their children. They provide for them early on, much like how
governments
offer free schooling,
but
then children are
expected
to grow up and take responsibility for their
own
lives
. Parents that coddle their children for too long
end
up spoiling them
in the same way
that a national retirement fund would deprive individuals of the opportunity to become self-reliant.

In conclusion
, the advantages of a more self-assured, mature citizenry outweigh the odd unavoidable case of desperation. There should be a degree of balance to
allow
for these exceptions while
still
nurturing more life-affirming values.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to save money for life after retirement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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