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Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion

Most people trust countries do not permit extreme exercise. in my opinion, people have the right to take part in their favorite sports. It is generally accepted that, hazardous sports are detrimental for people and most people want goverments do not permit these sports. There are a few reasons as to why hazardous sports should be forbidden by the government. Firstly, extreme sports lovers sense some mental and physical problems. For instance, formula one racing drivers sense trouble most of the competition, sometimes they come across some carcrash accident. Futhermore, families of a sportsman are always tensed and worried when they perform. However, others, including me, definetly some sports are dangerous, I agree with that, but do not need to ban that game. Nowdays, some extreme sports are crucial for action movies. For example, jumping from a plane, it is so tough for people. Consequence, when people jumping from a plane, players must have one professional coach to jump with them, and reject the person who under 18 to play and Players use some equipments which provide their safety. In addition, some sportsmen said extreme sports can help players release stress effectively. To sum up, I belive that government do not permit any sports, because when people come across this situation, they want do it.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trust countries do not permit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
exercise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in their favorite sports.

It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that, hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
do not permit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. There are a few reasons as to why hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be forbidden
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lovers sense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental and physical problems.
For instance
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
formula one
racing drivers sense trouble most of the competition,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
carcrash
accident.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, families of a sportsman are always tensed and worried when they perform.

However
, others, including me,
Possible spelling mistake found.
definetly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not need to ban that game.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are crucial for action movies.
For example
, jumping from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tough for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Consequence, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
jumping from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have one professional coach to jump with them, and reject the person who under 18 to play and Players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
equipments which provide their safety.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sportsmen said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
players release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
effectively
.

To sum up,
Did you mean “I believe”?
I belive
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
do not permit any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across this situation, they
The verb “do” needs to be in the to-infinitive form.
want do
it.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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