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Some people believe that food and exercise are not necessary for healthy and long life. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that food and exercise are not necessary for healthy and long life. v. 1
A section of people contend that proper nutrition and physical activity are not an essential attribute to enjoy disease free long life. I completely disagree with this believe as good diet and exercise consist of undeniable importance to maintain a healthy long life and play a vital role in leading a disease free lifestyle. Firstly, a proper meal plan which is developed for an individual can help boost good immune system. A good nutritional diet including green leaves, dairy and lean meat helps in giving essential nutrients needed by the body to grow at every stage of life. On the other hand, consumption of poor diet like, fried food, saturated fat and carbonated drinks have adverse effect on health and triggers diseases like heart problem, blood pressure imbalance and high cholesterol. A balanced nutritional food helps in maintaining a healthy mind and body. Secondly, incorporating exercise in daily regime is also of equal importance in maintaining long healthy life. Any amount of physical workout incorporated in daily schedule helps keep body's vital functions working like, body joint movements, proper digestion and reduces stress. Moreover, a recreational activity aids in a healthy brain function and helps keep a fit body by engaging one in strategic game planning and enjoying the rigorous activity throughout. In other words, a good workout helps maintain a good shape mentally and physically and fosters to many health benefits. In conclusion, healthy eating habits and physical activities are of paramount importance for keeping an individual in a good shape and increases longevity of life by their long-term effects on mental health and physical fitness.
A section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that proper nutrition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
are not an essential attribute to enjoy disease free long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I completely disagree with this
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
diet and exercise consist of undeniable importance to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and play a vital role in leading a disease free lifestyle.

Firstly
, a proper meal plan which
is developed
for an individual can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
immune system. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
nutritional diet including green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, dairy and lean meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in giving essential nutrients needed by the body to grow at every stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
, consumption of poor diet like, fried food, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and carbonated drinks have adverse effect on health and triggers diseases like heart problem, blood pressure imbalance and high cholesterol.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "balanced nutritional food".
A balanced nutritional food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
mind and body.

Secondly
, incorporating exercise in daily regime is
also
of equal importance in maintaining long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Any amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
workout incorporated in daily schedule
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
body's vital functions working like, body joint movements, proper digestion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, a recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
aids in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
brain function and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a fit body by engaging one in strategic game planning and enjoying the rigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
throughout.
In other words
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
workout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
shape mentally and
physically
and fosters to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health benefits.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are of paramount importance for keeping an individual in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
shape and increases longevity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by their long-term effects on mental health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people believe that food and exercise are not necessary for healthy and long life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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