Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that family is more important than friends. What do you think?

Some people believe that family is more important than friends. What do you think? LgEn
Families are the pillars of every children and adults, therefore, they should be our first priority. It is argued by some individual families are crucial rather than peers. I believe that families are the pivotal part of our lives. To embark on, significance of having family is that they are the first school of every children, where they can learn family values, social values and norms. Family teaches their children to be obedient, and respect to their elderly and give love and affection to the younger ones. Friends are for short period of time, while our families are there for our whole life and they are always there whenever we need them, and only true feelings can be understood by our parents. Whenever there is sorrow in our life, families are always there to help us and get rid of that, and they are the strength to cope any kind of adversity. Another benefits of family is they help their children to make effective decision of their study and career, but in the recent time, for a lot of individual money is their first priority, so they are busy in their business and works that is why they do not have time to spend with their family members, which leads to tension among family as well as misunderstanding with them. Moreover, if father and mother do not spend quality time with their kids they do not understand the true values of them, as a result, they will develop negative perception towards their parents. Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to look after their family member and share their knowledge and thought with them. If a husband is unable to give sufficient time to a wife in the long term this makes relationship weak, at the end they are compelled to divorce. For instance, according to the recent survey divorce rate in America is 20% high compared to other countries due to the fact that husband and wife are not spending time with each other. In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that friends are also very vital at certain times of our life, but the family are most important in every steps of our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
are the pillars of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "child"?
children
and adults,
therefore
, they should be our
first
priority. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are crucial
rather
than peers. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are the pivotal part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To embark on, significance of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is that they are the
first
school of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "child"?
children
, where they can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values, social values and norms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
teaches their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be obedient, and respect to their elderly and give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection to the younger ones. Friends are for short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, while our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are there for our whole
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are always there whenever we need them, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
true feelings can
be understood
by our parents. Whenever there is sorrow in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are always there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of that, and they are the strength to cope any kind of adversity.

Another benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "are".
is
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective decision of their study and career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individual money is their
first
priority,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are busy in their business and works
that is
why they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, which leads to tension among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
as misunderstanding with them.
Moreover
, if father and mother do not spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their kids they do not understand the true values of them,
as a result
, they will develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
perception towards their parents.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of parents to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member and share their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
with them. If a husband is unable to give sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to a wife in the long term this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
relationship weak, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
they
are compelled
to divorce.
For instance
, according to the recent survey divorce rate in America is 20% high compared to other countries due to the fact that husband and wife are not spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny the fact that friends are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital at certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "step"?
steps
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that family is more important than friends. What do you think?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts